I can't Believe

that he has been gone almost 9 months. 

i just can't! 

how does it seem like the longest, scariest 9 months of my life,

but also like it flew by in the blink of an eye?

that doesn't even seem possible!

i can't believe that when he left sadie looked like this:

and that now she looks like this:

i can't believe that the last time he spent more than a few days with harper, 

she looked like this:

and that this is her now:

btw, if you ask her what she was doing in this photo, she will say 

"cwapbooking".

i can't believe he's missed thanksgiving, christmas, my birthday, sadie's birthday, his 30th birthday, valentine's day, and our 6 year anniversary.

i can't believe he left when it was sweltering TX hot and that when it turns hot again,

he will be home.

i can't believe there are only 3 links left on that paper chain that used to be so long,

we had to loop it once so that it didn't hang too close to harper's bed.

gosh, this army life is insane.

and amazing.

and scary.

like the song says it's an 

"crazy tragic, sometimes almost magic

awful, beautiful life".

that's really how i feel about it.

and we are almost through this deployment. 

i'm weary of letting myself feel complacent, safe, or too hopeful.

b/c that's when you get blind-sided, know what i mean?

hmm. nice ramblings stephanie.

my mind is all over the place today!

i'll leave you guys with a layout i did this morning.

hope you are having a beautiful day!

xo

s

patterned papers, label, rubons- lily bee design

yellow alpha- american crafts

tiny alpha- my little shoebox

punches- martha stewart butterfly, ek success notebook paper, fiskars upper crest

pearls- kaisercraft

pen- american crafts precision pen (.01 tip)

Comments

[jenney]

You're almost there, Stephanie!! Love the layout! =)

[erin]

yeah to your ring ladder being that much smaller!
yeah to springtime and new adventures!
yeah to pretty layouts and beautiful girls.
yeah to you, mamma stephanie!

[Briana]

I don't know how you do it. You are one strong Mama, Wife and Woman. You go girl!

[Danielle]

So so sweet. All of it. The pictures, the ramblings, the page. Love it all. I can NOT believe how big Sadie looks! That's unreal!

[tara pakosta]

he sure has missed alot--so sad!
but with all the photos you take, I am sure he feels so connected to his 3 girls!
can't believe how blonde sadie turned. it's so funny that your oldest is dark haired like my oldest, then the youngest is light haired like my youngest. how funnY>!
i can't believe how harper looks so BIG while "cwapbooking"!!! she has changed so so MUCH! she went from toddler to BIG girl! and sadie from baby to toddler. so sad!! time goes way too fast! time for another baby ha ha!!!
i can't believe you are actually scrapping such recent pictures!!! are you seriously caught up!? or just wanted to scrap it?! i am still working on 1999-thru now. i am all over the place with it!! i dont' scrap in order anyway>!
love your blog.
you are such an inspiration!
tara

[Tonya D]

I have a question, as a career Army guy, will he most likely be deployed yet again? Are there limits on how many times one is deployed? Not that I want you to think about that...I am just in awe of your ability to get through this! But, my mom always told me, "You do what you have to do!". You are a shining example of just that and your family will be stronger for it!
blessings,
tonya

[Amy]

That's such a gorgeous layout! Did I miss something, I thought he was home? Or was he back for his two weeks, I think that's what the Army calls it ;)

[Stephanie Howell]

Tonya-
This is our fifth deployment of many more to come, I'm sure.
Unfortunately, it's just part of the deal. There just aren't enough people in the military. However, the next job we have accepted (we go to GA in the fall), has 3.5 month deployments as opposed to 12.

[Stephanie Howell]

Amy,
every soldier who is deployed for a year or longer gets 2 weeks of R&R at some point during their deployment. Jimmy had his leave and then had to go back to complete the deployment he started last july. he will be home in june.

[Stephanie Howell]

tara- actually i am caught up! crazy, huh??

[Stephanie Howell]

okay. ignore my first comment. didn't realized it was you. just saw "amy". you probably know about r&r. hee! ignore.

[Vivian]

Beautiful LO as always, Stephanie!
Have I ever told you how much I admire your handwriting? I'm too chicken to use mine. (but it stinks anyways, so it's no great loss)
Your girls are just too darn cute - love the shot of the three of you together! Maybe one day we'll get to see more of Harper's "cwapbooking" projects! ;D

[tania]

YAY for only 3 links left! you are an amazing woman stephanie. you look so incredibly happy in that layout photo....it made me smile.

[melanie bauer]

harper looks just like her mama. ;) and that is my all-time fave layout of yours. because i know you care.

[Kimber-Leigh]

i just love the combination of colors on your layout! it's so happy!

and i'm so glad that jimmy will be home soon!

[Kirsty]

Beautiful LO...and YAY for that paper chain being so much shorter:)

[vanessa]

beautiful LO!!!
man don't I know that kids grow way too fast!
smiles...take care you

[Carla]

Beautiful layout! I knew that I would see this pic soon!

It will be over soon and then hopefully J won't have to go back anytime soon. Hang in there, you are doing a great job. Everything we do makes us stronger and we learn as we go. Besides that - you are far from alone, we are all here for you.

[Kristen]

I feel the same way about the last 9 months. I can't believe that in a little over a month I will be on my way to Texas! I find it hard to believe that it is almost over.

[Lisa Kisch]

Beautifully put...you're in the home stretch!
Love that layout... just gorgeous.

[Daniela]

They are adorable...that photo of you "three girls" is just so fun and full of life. The layout is stunning, I was able to see it this morning on 2 peas. How about turning your handwriting into font?

[liz kartchner]

you amaze me! I don't know how you do it.

love this layout!

[Houston]

I love pictures that demonstrate change! I truly can't imagine what it would be like to have my husband gone for such a long period... you are very strong, and don't just shake that off, it's true!
Love the layout!

[[email protected]]

oh my!!!!, just an amazing layout!!!

[ami d]

Hoping that the next months fly by.

[Kami]

You should be soooo proud of yourself!! I don't know how you do it other than you have to, right? Big hugs to you, girl!!!

[Rachel]

Your girls are so beautiful. It's amazing how much they've changed and grown since this past summer.

Again, I admire your strength. I've only been married 8 months, and I don't know what I'd do if my husband went away for more than a week or two. Your girls are lucky to have such a wonderful momma!

[Bree]

I looooove that layout. Your stuff is always so pretty and so are you and your chicks :-)

[Wendi]

I know how you feel about not wanting to get blind-sided. I never really felt good until I had my arms around my DH and he was standing in our home. You are on the downward side of this deployment. I bet it feels like you have been on your own "mission" yourself. You continue to be a bright beacon for many military wives and always remember to give yourself that pat on the back that you too deserve.
((((HUGS))))
PS- Love the butterflies on the newest layout : )

[naomi]

more love to you Stephanie... the layout is gorgeous, that paper is devine I am hoping that we will see it here in australia soon...

[Stephanie Klauck]

Beautiful layout Steph!

[Lisa]

Seeing all J. has missed (and you too, with him not being there for this things) makes me appreciate his and all servicemen and women's dedication to our country. Reading your post makes it so personal -- I just never thought too much into it in this regard, that there's so much of life missed while they're deployed. "Thank you" just isn't enough of a word.

Loved seeing these comparison photos -- amazing how much each of your beautiful daughters have grown these last 9 months.

[SelenaVanHout]

I just love that layout Steph! And yeah I cannot believe you are caught up. I didn't think there was ever such a thing in scrapbooking. LOL.

So y'all are coming to GA huh? In the fall? What part of GA? I would a chance to meet up!

I cannot believe how big both girls have gotten. They are both so precious!

Any word on when I am going to get a sneeky peek of your scrapbook room? ;)

HUGS!

[Heather]

what a great post! Love the layout and love the then and now photos!!

[Ladybird]

I read your blog very often, but I don't often leave messages... but I just wanted to tell you that I hope you will all be together soon... your girls are so pretty!! And your scrapbooking job is a delight!!

[NicCarro]

I'm glad that time seems to be flying by for you all. I love your layout...those rub-ons are so different, they look great.

[C. Rayevich]

it is sad to think what they miss. But you are such a strong lady!!!!
lots of hugs to you and your little ladies :)

[Linda E]

I just knew you would create something spectacular with those pictures!

[Casey]

I'm tearing up :( but, I'm so glad that your paper chain is getting smaller

[Elisabeth]

Beautiful layout and beautiful girls!!! Continuing to keep all of you in my prayers...yeah to only 2 more rings.

[Brenda H]

I love it when you ramble!! Its so cute - your girls are as beatiful as ever and the layout is fab! XoXo

[Es]

LOVE your LO. I pray that everything goes smoothly and that J will be back home safely before you know it. Hugs to you:)

[maria therese]

Just wonder if you print your own pictures, if so what printer do you use??

[Veera]

Love the colors and the happy atmosphere in the LO despite the longing for J.

[sasha farina]

urmm... lemme dry my tears first.

I'm in awe of you and your spirit. Pls know that I'm always thinking of you, even when I don't leave comments. Always, always, Girl.

[Mel]

I love the butterflies on this LO honey, it's just gorgeous :)

[Stephanie Howell]

Maria Therese- yes I do. If you look a few posts down on my blog and find the "a Few of my Favorite Things" post, you will see a photo of the printer i use!

[Jenni]

Steph--love that cute LO...you have such an eye for design! 9 months is so long while you're living it but when you look back and realize how far you've come it's amazing...here's to a few more FAST months till your hubby returns safely to your family! HUGS!

[Maya]

Love the layout and what a beautiful photo of you three!

[AesaLina]

Where did you get the little book harper is scrapbooking in?

[Stephanie Howell]

it is a k&co "best friends" scrapbooking kit. hth!

[Ginny C.]

Stephanie, today I received a beautiful note from an internet friend & I felt the need to pass the feeling forward. I discovered your blog several months ago & have come to consider you a friend. I realize we have never met, but I feel the need to check in on you often. I am always inspired. I laugh at the chickies' antics & fall in love with Sadie's toothy little smile. Somedays, I cry & just want to hug you or sit & hold your hand, telling you everything will be fine. You only have to look at your beautiful, happy children to know you are a fantastic mother. Hang in there, Jimmy will home soon & hopefully your little family will have some well-deserved time together before his deployment. Thank you for sharing your life with us, inspiring us to be better people & thank you for being my friend.

[Ginny C.]

Today I received a beautiful note from an internet friend, & I felt the need to pass it forward. I found your blog several months ago & have become very "attached" to your family. I find myself checking in often just to see if you're all okay. Sometimes I laugh at the chickies' antics, fall in love with Sadie's toothy little smile. Sometimes I cry & just want to reach out & give you a hug or hold your hand & tell you everything will be fine. You only have to look at your children's beautiful, happy faces to know you are a wonderful mother.Hang in there, Jimmy will be home soon & hopefully your little family will have some well deserved time together before he is deployed again. Thank you, Stephanie, for sharing for family with us & inspiring me to be a better person. And although we have never met, thank you for being my friend.

[Ginny C.]

Sorry I posted twice, my internet is so messed-up today, I'm ready to throw the computer out of the window

[Ayesha]

i bet he hates the fact that while hes been gone hes missed all this.... you truely are a great women.... you really are xxx

[maryD]

Hi Stephanie, I love Harper's purple dress and Sadie's fluffy outfit. Great photos. You must enjoy all these young years becuz they don't last long. I have four daughters and they are all grown up and I long for the days like these. So enjoy them and cherish. :)