Exercise, I hate you.

I do. You are not fun. You make me look like a red-faced spaz.

Anything that makes me yak in the front yard like a high school boy

on his first day of two-a-days is NOT cool.

CrossFit I curse your name.

I've always been slightly bitter with you b/c sometimes I think my husband loves you more than he loves me. 

Not really...but you kind of ARE the other woman.

I mean, a few weeks ago , J talked longer and more excitedly about you

than he EVER has evereverever talked about anything else.

I zoned out after 10 straight minutes of gibberish (or is it jibberish?!?!?!) nonsense. 

I'm pretty sure he'd make out with you if it was possible. 

So what did I do?

I gave in.

I am on night six of the hell that is CrossFit.

I can hardly walk. Sadie has to cling to me like a small monkey whenever she wants a ride somewhere.

Harper tells me I "wook funny".

and that my face is "wed".

Today she said

"Daddy is a swave dwiver he makes you essercise toooooo much!!".

Hmmm. I have no.earthly.clue. where she might have heard that.

odd.

Yet, as much as I hate to admit it, I'm kind of starting to love you too, oh essercise.

I feel better about myself after only a week of you.

I feel happy when I exercise with my husband.

It has been good for us.

He's a wonderful motivator and I don't want to embarrass myself in front of him.

Oh, but don't get me wrong, I do.

I almost hit myself in the head w/ the dang medicine ball he was making me do squats with today.

SPAZZZZZY.

I give him full credit. He made a really funny face at me, but didn't laugh.

He also didn't laugh at me when I asked why my behind bounces so much when I run.

I'm truly starting to detect less bouncing.

So as much as I despise you, exercise, I am starting to come over to the dark side.

That is, until tomorrow morning, when I can't lift my damn coffee cup.

hmmmph.

I really don't know where she heard that. Really. She must have made it up by herself. She IS very observant.

hehehehe.

xoxox

ETA: I love you, my sweet readers. But PLEASE do not fear about me dropping a dress size. I promise I am setting realistic, healthy goals. =) xo

and also- i am NOT running 5k and doing 1924893858 reps. this is my first week. i'm doing a very beginner's version of CrossFit. last night I ran sprints, did kettle bell squats, and did wall ball squats w/ a medicine ball. i linked the site so you guys could see what it is...i am NOT doing that stuff that they have listed there. HA!

p.s. since I am spending time with J and his other woman without complaining  

(except for the eye-rolling i miiiiight do when j tells me to do some ludicrous exercise that i simply KNOW i can't do. I mean it's not like i'm one of his soldiers. GAH. and yes, i do them anyway)....I will be treating myself to this lovely once I drop a dress size.

Comments

[Deborah Wisker]

you deserve it for your hard work!

[steffogal1]

great goal! :) pretty dress!
great wife! :) happy husband!
great family, happy family, loving family!
truly a gift from God.

with a grin,
steffogal1
http://withagrin.blogspot.com/

[liz kartchner]

you crack me up!! lol!

still smiling after reading this post!
xoxo

[JustLulu]

Girl, do you even have a size to drop??? You look fabulous as is! :)

[Rebecca]

Ha Ha! The first time I read swave dwiver I thought Harper was calling her Daddy a suave driver. I know just how you feel though. Exercise is not my friend. Good work and hang in there. I hear once you do it for a while you get used to it and it doesn't hurt so much. I never make it past the first week to find out if it's true.

[kim Strother]

You make me laugh!!! Only because I sooooo get it. My husband is a bodybuilder and has worked out longer that I've know him (19 years) and he goes rain or shine, sick, no matter what. And he would make out with it if he could!!!!

Love the dress, but really, do you have a size to loose??? Just tone up! It will make you appear a size smaller.

[Rhona]

Love the dress, the exercise - not so much! I have never enjoyed exercise and rarely get past the first week. I plan on starting on WiiFit and I think that'll be my limit ;). Well done for sticking with it but you really don't need to drop a dress size!

[Tereazua]

:) have i told you i sooo love readimg your blog?!?
I hate exercise too, but "I" need to do it!
Keep up the great work, and yes get the dress, it is gorgeous!

[Natz]

You def deserve that dress once you've dropped a dress size. I have started spinning classes again. I just wish we had Anthro in the UK cause they do such lovely stuff, and they'd be ace weight loss rewards!

[beth]

Welcome to the dark side my friend!! Soon you will find that if you miss a day of running/exercising that you feel grumpy and sluggish......enjoy the new dress!

P.S. my hubby and I are doing a run/bike du-athalon on Sunday and it's actually fun!

[Jennifer.T]

First of all you do NOT need to drop a dress size and secondly send Jimmy over to my house to train me!! I'm in desperate need of motivation :o[

[Sar W]

You had me pissing myself laughing Steph!!! Good luck with the exercise program...keep talking about it, might motivate me to get up and do something... **insert eye roll** Cheers, Sar in Aus

[Erin Sweeney]

I was checking out the Crossfit website for a few minutes, but I'll have to go back and read more. Sounds really intersting. I take a boot camp class once a week plus kickboxing, step, Zumba. On days I work out on my own, I usally do a workout from boot camp. This might be a nice alternative. I'll have to go through the WODs. Thanks! And You're doing great! :) The dress is worth it, lol.

[rebecca shelor]

OMG! Too funny! I do laps in the pool when I get off and get home from work at 8 in the morning...I do yoga ... and that's about all I can manage right now! I DID love KICKBOXING... but I have to find a KB course that's got hours I can manage! Good Luck! LOVE THE DRESS!

[Rachel]

CUTE prize you've picked out for yourself! And good for you...I, too, hate to exercise, so I feel your pain.

[Becky W.]

Such a cute dress!! I love visiting your blog...I need to kick my exercise into overdrive, too, but it's been so hard to get motivated to REALLY do it. Good luck to you.

[Karen]

that dress is a lovely reward....that and the fact that you are spending time with your man...
hugs!

[Mindy Miller]

I love that dress! It's so worth the pain. And, I laughed out loud when I read on the CrossFit website that it's a program used by cage fighters. You could become a scrapbooking and cage fighting extraordinaire! :)

[Michelle Unruh]

Steph, I agree. I don't think you really need to drop a size. I did enjoy reading this!! You made me laugh!! with you not at you... Great that you are spending time together! I do not really like it either. But could use it. I love the dress - very cute!!!

[aja]

hilarious!

you've inspired me to be a little more motivated and get my wiggly butt in gear.

:0)

[Becky]

Girl, I feel your pain...
My trainer is certified in Crossfit and happily pushes it off on my sister and I every Wednesday and Saturday. I *HATE* it/her at the time, but after it's so nice to know that I survived :)P

That dress is soooo *CUTE* too!

[Susie]

Funny, funny post.

I do however think that a wiggly bottom is not all bad. I've never known a man who won't turn and look at a little wiggle -- every damn time!

Have fun!

[Lisa Day]

You make me laugh!! Love that dress! Wish I could wear dresses!

[Lisa Dickinson]

you animal, you! i surely hope there in room in the CrossFit diet for Cupcake. just sayin.'

[Kimber-Leigh]

i get the "crossfit as the other woman" reference! i am SO not telling brent that you are crossfitting. he keeps telling me to do it too. i'll stick with my own version of exercise but i am very proud of you for doing it.

we could get a lot of scrapping done while jimmy and brent talked enthusiastically about crossfit...that is, unless you decide to join in on the conversations now--hee hee. too bad we don't live closer!

[Rabecca G]

Bless "the other woman". When we were in the Navy and I married my husband I met "the other woman" She was blue with very thin tires, small seat and Asian! (A Fugi Bike of course) He even kept her in our bedroom at night. She is still with us (although now she stays in the garage) and we still are not friends. But she does make him happy so what can I say.

[C. Rayevich]

the first wk is allllllways to worst then it gets better! good luck
xo

[EvelynB]

I am laughing OUT LOUD! Hilarious.

[Tonya D]

Exercise must be in the air..gag,choke...daahhhh! My sweet sixteen year old son is playing soccer. I told him I'd begin running with him today. We started and my 13 year old is riding his bike along with us. I told Joey that it is really hard being a parent. Sometimes you have to do the things you hate so that they will develop good habits. "I can do all things through Christ (and HIM alone;0) who strengthens me!!!!!"

PS I'm not a young chick...42+...I don't want to be old AND flabby!!;)

[Shannon]

As always, you are hilarious. Thanks for the nice comment on my blog. I was thinking of you while I stood on that bridge and waved my flag. That dress is beautiful and you will definitely deserve it if you are going thru all that! Get a necklace while you're at it. And take the rest of the day off with pay! (ha!)

[Laura]

I have NO idea what CrossFit is, but I can totaly relate to the red face thing! Ever since I was little, any time I am out in the sun or over exert myself such as in exercising...my face turns RED! I look like a tomato!! And I have just recently joined a gym with my bf and I hate that so many people see my sweaty, tomato face...lol, but I do LOOOOVE that in a month's time I have lost at least four inches off my waist, my "girls" have gotten smaller..YAY...and I have lost TEN pounds!! Wooohooo!! You on the other hand, lol...I would kill to have your skinny body..lol I'm with Harper...you don't need to exercise so much!! LOL :)

[renata]

you need to write a book, you are so funny and smart. I love the dress, where is it from? Good luck with the workouts!

[Amber Zimmerman]

I have to reward myself with retail therapy too! Isn't it the best? ;-)

[tania]

you're a hoot!

[Sara from La Mirada]

Where's that cute little piece of motivation from anyway?

[Stephanie Howell]

hey sara. its from anthropologie. have a great day!

[Stephanie Howell]

anthropologie! xo

[Kathy F]

Steph...all I can say is I am still laughing! :)

Hugs to you and keep it up! :)

[Kylie]

Beautiful dress, can't wait to see the pics of you in it!

[Crystal]

I love the dress you picked out. It's so you. I find it funny that I can say that and I don't even know you in real life. haha. But keep up the good work girl! I've been slacking this week.. But this post kinda gave me the push I need to get to the gym tomorrow morning!

[janinek]

Excersize....the distant memory of something I used to do! Enjoy the benefits it brings!! Yes, it does eventually bring benefits, not just pain in all major muscle areas!

[Jennie]

I was laughing out loud reading your post! You are hilarious! I read your post to my hubby, too, because he has done CrossFit at the fire station. Keep up the good work; I know you'll be in that cute dress in no time!

[Abby V]

I asked my husband about CrossFit and if it would be a right "fit" for me, and he honestly said "it's gonna kick you @$$." So, I applaud you for doing this. I remember exercising with my husband-and it wasn't CrossFit-but he was a slave driver too (had me doing squats while I held weights, ugh). Reading about your adventures with CrossFit however has had me thinking that I need to find an exercise regiment that works for me-one that I won't hate and dread doing. Because now that the hubby is gone, I have no one to motivate me but me. So, thank you-for the laugh and the push-and I hope you hit your goal so you can buy yourself that dress!

[Kimberly]

Okay, really? You are gorgeous! That dress is simply perfect and love the giggles you gave me this morning.

[Ashley S.]

I love that dress. It's good to have a reward to work towards. Keep up the good work!

[Carrie]

Good for you for exercising with J. That dress is reward enough it's so pretty. I need to get my behind on the treadmill - red face & all!

[Soldier Girl]

ROFL .. swave driver lolol...cute cute .. get it girl and hey even if you do drop a dress size at least you will be sexy and TONED with it .. and yes Crossfit is the business.

xoxo

[Stormy E]

i could've wrote almost the exact post! but i've been doing the 30 day shred and lose fat boost metabolism by jillian michaels! i feel like i'm going to die. unfortunately i have quite a bit more to lose than yu do! i was just telling my hubby i'm glad i don't have a mirror in front of me becasue i know i must look ridiculous doing some of the exercises! i need to find a dress to helo motivate me, that one is beautiful!

[Ally]

Hey - it always helps to have a hottie hubby to share in the exercise and motivate you! Maybe that's just what I need to get back into things - a hottie husband - anyone got an extra lying around? ;-) hee hee