where to start, where to start.

okay. so j and i dated for about 3 1/2 years before we got engaged.

j was cautious about marriage (for several reasons), as he should have been , but i KNEW. i swear i knew from the moment we kissed. which may or may not have been the first night we met and which may or may not have been initiated by me. 

ahem.

anyway, we had talked about it a bit, but never been to look at rings or anything like that.

christmas 2002, we were on our way to waco to visit my parents. we started talking about marriage and j. began to catalog all of the reasons he just wasn't remotely ready.

i flipped. flipped out.

for lots of reasons. i didn't want to be across the country from each other. we'd done that  (west point and baylor) and i was OVER it. little did i know i had a LOT of that ahead of me. heee~!

i didn't want to move if i wasn't certain of our future. i loved him more than i'd ever loved anyone before.  honestly, no one had ever come close.

the kind of love that changes your world. that makes everything look different than it did before. i NEEDED to be where he was. to start a life with him, to start making our history together. i didn't want anything in the world more than i wanted to marry him. it was all consuming. truly.

so, as i was saying i flipped. actually, he had to pull the car over b/c i was crying so hard. yes, it was not my finest moment.

here's the funny part: he had the ring in his backpack in the back of the car. but clearly i didn't know this.

so, as soon as i pulled myself together, we started driving. to be honest, i was PISSED at him. really, truly mad. i thought there was something wrong with me...i don't know. i wasn't thinking clearly, but i was not a happy camper.

i knew that he was going to have a drink with my father that night. my dad had been asking me when he was going to pull it together and ask me to marry him. i finally said I DON'T KNOW! WHY DON'T YOU ASK HIM YOURSELF??? yes, can you tell i was fed up?

by the time we got to waco i was thinking lovely. just lovely. this is going to be a fabulous weekend. a SPECIAL christmas. just great. (did i mention i was ticked off??).

j and my dad went to a restaurant. at this restaurant jimmy asked my dad for my hand in marriage. he told him that he was planning to ask me on the suspension bridge in waco (where he first told me he was falling in love with me). my dad happily gave him permission and told him to do it when the moment felt right. j put the ring in his pocket and came home.

where i was waiting for him wearing a red sorority t-shirt, leopard pajama pants, and socks WITH THE GRIPPERS ON THE BOTTOMS. like footsies for grown ups.

oh yes. if you have any doubt in your mind that i was clueless that a proposal was coming, then please refer to the previous paragraph. 

jimmy found me in front of the fireplace. i wouldn't look at him. i was on the verge of tears.  you see, my dad had come in the house before j did, and he wouldn't look at me. he seemed mad. he slammed a cabinet in the kitchen. it was just WEIRD.

 *turns out that he knew if he looked at me, he'd grin and the jig would be up...but i didn't know this. i was certain j had told my daddy that he didn't want to marry me.

back to the fireplace.

i was glowering.

j asked if he could do anything to make me happy. we had a game we always played. he'd ask me that question, and i'd say "give me a prize!!!" and he'd pull something random out of his pocket (change, a receipt) and give it to me. just a silly tradition we have.

automatically, i said "give me a prize!!!" when he asked if he could do anything.

he told me to close my eyes. i think i said something like "I'm NOT in the mood for this!". 

first he put a quarter in my hand

then lint

then a dime (found out later that he had, at that split second, decided to propose and was working up the courage).

but i didn't know this and i'm pretty sure i growled and/or hissed at him.

then i opened my eyes one last time and found a sparkly diamond ring in my palm. it looked exactly like the tiffany engagement ring that i'd had tacked on my cork board for YEARS. i mean, he was looking that whole time? he paid attention? 

j got on his knees next to me. at this point we were both on our knees, and i (for the first time in my life) was stunned to silence. and j looked just as stunned as i did...he's not one to make split-second decisions.

he said something simple, along the lines of "stephanie elise steakley,  i love you. will you spend the rest of your life with me?"...and here is where i said...

wait for it...

IS THIS REAL????

by this, i think i meant...is this ring real? are you real?? you are too good to be true...is this whole situation real or am i dreaming? i'm pretty sure i'm not dreaming because i would NOT be wearing this in a dream about getting engaged. hell no.

and in the other room i hear my dad say "no, it's a fake diamond!!" in a DUHHH tone

and then it hit me. i screamed. i cried. i said YESYESYESYES.

and that's how i became an engaged woman. engaged to the man of my dreams.

while wearing booties for adults. and fugly leopard pj pants.ah yes. the most romantic story ever told.

HA!

xoxoxo

s

Comments

[Kimber-Leigh]

i LOVE it!!! especially your outfit. and the mood! i love proposal stories where there's one little detail that makes the story slightly imperfect but perfect for the telling and remembering. (my detail...uh, i had to pee on the side of the road on our way to where he was about to propose. yep. lovely. oh, and we were in a limo. and i was in a semi-formal dress and heels. nice.)

[Stephanie Howell]

i lovelovelove this. makes me like you even more!!!

[erika]

I have read your blog for ages and ages and I LOVE every time there is a new posting waiting for me to read ... always makes me so happy ... but this ... I'm sitting here laughing with tears in my eyes {while the hubby watches his Formula 1} ... kinda funny! Thank you for sharing your wonderful stories and daily moments .. especially the less-than-perfect ones. Aren't those the little things that make this life what it is??
Thank you for writing ... always!!!!

[Kaila]

What a cute story! Yet another post that made me tear up!!

[Rachel]

What a great love story! Gripper socks and all!

I love your writing, Stephanie :)

[Michele H.]

Simply beautiful story Stephanie!!! Love the very beginning and how you "may or may not have kissed him first." I think I may have had a similar experience (lol). That's all i'm sayin'!!!!

[Katherine]

You are just too cool - why am I not surprised! I think I've been reading your blog for too long!!!!!

[may]

it's so perfect though!! I *love* that you too were hissing/growling sort of girl. Totally reminds me of myself right before engagement. I'm so inspired - I might have to type up a post myself...

[Kitty]

Awesome story!! I want to hear about the wedding next!!!

PS. You take lounge wear to a whole other level ;-)

[Mel]

Fabulously awesome beautiful story. Made me laugh & cry at the same time - has to be good :) xoxoxoxo

Oh, and the leopard pant things - too good for words LOL :)

[Cynthia B.]

I LOVE this story. It's just so...REAL.
:D
Just goes to show a proposal doesn't have to be all Hollywood - you know, scripted and w/ perfect lighting. It just has to be love between two people...which of course you two obviously have. *sigh*
Thanks for sharing your story - really put a smile on my face in tears in my eyes.

[liz kartchner]

love this post stephanie! love.

yes, i teared up...

xoxo

[karen m]

i think it is a perfectly Stephanie story....i loved it!

[Cathy]

Can't believe that I have never heard that story! Is that the house your parents are in now? LOVE your stories, thanks for sharing...

[gscrapbooks]

Fantastic story! and you got a picture of it - love it!

[megan]

Such a cute story! The pj pants and booties are classic.

[Amanda N.]

The adult booties is the icing on the cake! Thanks for sharing this story!

[vanessa]

lol...awesome & perfect all rolled into one :)

[Sue]

Love this story!! And having the diamond ready. My dh thought the engagement ring was the plain band and the wedding ring was the one with the diamond because it's worth more. Kinda sweet thought, but when we went shopping for the ring and I headed for the sparkly ones it must have given him heart failure!!

Keep the stories coming

[Krys72599]

Funny that your first response was, "Is this real?"
That's exactly what I said, too! Referring of course to the proposal, not to the ring!
I asked him then if I could tell his mother. His sister? MY mother? His kids?
THEN and only then, after he said yes, did I say yes!!! Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!!!

[Vanessa]

goosebumps!

[C. Rayevich]

what an awesome story!!! love the gripper socks hehe =)

[Kirsty]

That is an awesome engagement story!!!

[Vivian]

You crack me up!! What an awesome story
BTW - I've totally stolen the whole "fugly" thing. =D)

My hubby left my engagement ring as a tip after I served him pie at the
chinese restaurant I was working in at the time. I was so mad that
he was even there, as I was hoping to get off early. I didn't even
find it first - my boss did! I still have the "fortune" he had attached
to the ring hidden away in my jewelery box!!!

[Sar W]

ROFL!! Love the photo at the end that just proves your outfit...pmsl! Love it, love the story, love the love. xoxox

[Deborah Wisker]

What a great story! Thanks for sharing it!!

[Kristen]

Haha, soooo glad I'm not the only one who was angry at their future spouse prior to the proposal... incidently also for his lack of willingness to get married. Seriously, if you want to go out to Round Rock this weekend or want a visitor, let me know. Michael has a new love in his life (the 10 week old puppy) and I am playing second fiddle, so I would looooooove some girl time.

[veronica]

First of all that story is so romantic and if I wasn't hormonal...I would not be crying. ha!
You nerd! That is classic- Is this real? Love it. Cute story!

[micheleomega]

talk about stunned into silence ... i have almost The. Exact. Same. Proposal. Story. ... down to the crying and being pissed. holy cats. i didn't think anyone out there was proposed to as unromantically as i was! i'm so sorry!! lol but, as marc always tells me, see how well it turned out regardless? ;o)

[Ladybird]

Thanks for sharing your story :)

[Jennifer.T]

I love that it happened like that! I'ts real and true and not some fairytale that never happens in real life. I think it's so romantic and I'm completely jealous because i don't have an engagement story to tell... *sigh* maybe one day.

[melanie]

and i love you have a photo to prove such attire. :)

[juls]

i love this story, everything about it is a classic!!

i too got a tiffany diamond ring only it was for our 20th wedding anniversay and the sales lady thought we were getting engaged! we got married when i was 19 and he 23....it seems like it was just yesterday! when you know, you know.

[Marty]

your outfit was as beautiful as mine. My hubby proposed while I was wearing a bathrobe with tea pots all over it, my hair was wrapped up in a towel and I was ironing! He said he just couldn't keep the secret any longer :) The best part though is spending my life with him.

[Jessica Larsen]

I love all your stories, they are always so heartfelt, endearing, and hilarious :) Thanks for sharing!

[Holly Hanks]

That is about the sweetest engagement story I've ever heard. Too precious. Mine is nowhere near as interesting, so I will just live vicariously through yours. ;0)

[tara pakosta]

You lucky girl!
how SWEET!
tara

[lauren]

i LOVE your story!!! especially the part where your dad quipped "no, it's a fake diamond..."!! that is SO something that one of my family members would do!!! haha!
thank you for sharing all of your stories!!
*

[Lisa Cutler]

That was an amazing story! The fact that you have that photo is hilarous and touching at the same time. Great story!

[elise blaha cripe]

omg.
how similar to mine.
the yelling and the anger prior.
and the terrible outfit.
i love it.
i love it.
i love it.
i can't wait to be married.
and how did i ever miss that your middle name is "elise"? even spelled the same?!?!?
xo.

[samantha]

I have tears. That is so sweet. It's just perfect. So very real. What a great story to share for generations. Thanks for sharing.

[jung a]

you're just too funny girl!! why do men do this to women?? it took my hubbie 7 years...we were high school sweethearts and waiting to finish college...we went to look at rings, and we both found the one, only for him to tell me "i'm not ready yet." can you imagine my disappointment and sorrow (anger)?!! anyway, he ended up buying it the next morning and proposed that night after my classes(all the while i was irritated and had no idea it was coming!)
oh, and it's such a small world. i went to baylor 98-99 before i transferred to tech to be with the hubbie. i also lived in waco just a few years ago.
love your story girl!

[Lou Stiner]

Just love it! Truly a story that your children will enjoy later in life! My hubby asked me to marry him in front of his family, Christmas morning, in my pjs, glasses and lovely morning hair. A story that I know my kids will enjoy!

[heather prins]

that is so darned sweet! I love that you have the photo to back it all up, too funny!

[Jen Jockisch]

I did the EXACT same thing to Brad. We were driving to a football game (or so he told me) nand I flipped out on him because he hadn't yet asked me to marry him. Two hours later....I had a ring. :)P

[AmyJ]

oh what a great story!!!! Thanks for sharing!

[lisa truesdell]

haaaaaaa. i was wearing boxers and probably one of matthew's tshirts when he proposed. and cut him off because i had to go pee before he really got started. nice. =) love your story!

[Carrie]

Ahhh....loved reading this!
And I love that you have a picture from that night, pjs and all.
Wish I had a pic from mine - it was such a blur. Keep the great stories coming! No pressure! ;)

[Angie F]

LOVE your story!! Thanks so much for sharing! FUN!

[Shereen]

it IS so romantic! I love it.

[kim Strother]

I always love a happy engagement story...I guess because mine was SO different. I had yelling and anger too...but mine was at my parents because when my dh asked my dad for my hand in marriage, my dad said he had to talk to me...what?? you see my parents didn't want me to marry him. I was crushed. But I married him anyway...and 18 years later we are still married and there is my happy ending!!!

[Kristen Cox]

so cute! =) eric and i got engaged on cmas morning. i was actually miffed with him from the night before over something silly! so i decided to go to bed wearing nasty sweat pants and a t-shirt! bam...the next morning over coffee stained morning breath we were engaged! ha!!

[Laurie Ann]

You can really tell a story girl!! Love it1

[amy]

that was just a precious (and entertaining!) love story! i am so glad you shared that....and i LOVED your dad's offhanded comment from the other room. ha!

i wanted to say that i too knew i would marry "dh" but it took him waayy too long, he dragged his feet terribly much, lol, well, he was kinda a bachelor, being 8 years older, and we also had to break up TWICE and for me to go intern in nashville (we are in ohio)for a summer for him to finally realize what he was missing ;0 he came to get me and propose at the airport! and i really understand you being so mad in your engagement story..ugh...so was i and so was my parents. it was NOT cool. but it turned out okay! ha!

[Nikki M]

Laughed and cried. Love your story. Love that you love sharing your stories. Keep them coming. How did you all meet? Is that a good one as well? ;)

[Briana]

LOL! I think it's a great story, especially because mine is similar. Although I was wearing cheering shorts, a t-shirt and had my hair pulled back in a ponytail waiting for cheering practice! And he was in my mother's kitchen when he asked me. At least you were in front of a fireplace!

[Kirsty]

those are true billybop pants, my dear and your dorkyness always delights me.
hugs

[mary w]

Beyond sweet and I love that you have a photo.

[Michelle Unruh]

I LOVE this story!! I love hearing/reading these kinds of stories.. how they met, got engaged, etc. I love that you were in your jammies!! And your reaction!! It is a wonderful story!! I can tell you are so happy!! In all the pics with you and Jim, your face just lights up!! The biggest smile!! You two make a beautiful couple!! If you haven't scrapped this, you really should!! :)

[Dena]

I loved it! Mine was similar, but my mom asked if it was real - nice!

[Holly S]

Awww...my heart is aflutter! What a wonderful man you have. I know you know how lucky you are to have him...so many of us are looking for a man like j or are in a relationship where we wished he were more like j...please continue to nurish your relationship and use the time j is away to remember who you are and count your blessings. Hugs to you!

[Jill]

Too funny. I love imperfect engagement stories. When my husband proposed, I hit him, said 'stop teasing me, you're not funny' and walked away.

[Dana]

I would have been a little disappointed if it HADN'T been a cute story like that! Love it!

[KezzaLou]

That's the sign of true love...the man who doesn't care if you're wearing a formal dress, a potato sack or fugly leopard print pants and adult booties. You can see the love you guys share from the twinkle in both of your eyes when you look at each other, or even just around each other. I don't think it would have sounded right if you were dressed any other way. It just seems so you. Love knowing another piece of your story. Keep 'em coming.

[Melissa]

GREAT story! Thanks for sharing! The outfit is certainly the cherry-on-top!

Is J at a school here at Ft. Benning? Which one? Wouldn't it be hilarious (or just awkward? Or maybe just stalking?) if one of the fans from your blog called him up and invited him over for dinner while he was here? Anyway, you know how the Army is -- we take care of our own. We'd be happy to treat him to a home cooked meal while he's here. It would be our pleasure as well as our honor to feed him!

[reyanna]

You're just like Juliet from the Love Story song! :-D That's what it made me think of. LOL. Read this with a smile on my face. Thanks so much for sharing! You got engaged during the weekend that we got married. How cool. :-)

[Es]

LOVE this story and love that you actually have a pic to document it with;)

[Ally]

OMG - that is the best engagement story EVAH! I LOVE so much that you were in footsies for adults. And the way you wrote this - it's the perfect journaling. I can't wait to see the layout!

[Jill]

such a good story, but the picture is the best! The grippy socks are the cooolest.

[Sarah]

Love it! I did the whole flip out thing too. After 7 years, we finally married. It was totally worth it though!

[emily pitts]

adore :)

[Stephanie H]

I love you for your imperfect yet perfect proposal story.
Especially since mine involved flannel pajamas with frogs on them.
And American Chopper on tv :)

[Becca]

That is priceless! Thanks for telling, I love hearing how people got engaged. I had just eaten a cheesesteak with fried onions, when my DH to be, sang me a song that he wrote for me and proposed. Good times. Becca :)

[Danielle B arton]

Cracks me up how similar your story is to mine... at least in the respect of how I was feeling toward my sweetie on the night he proposed. We went ring shopping all day, little did I know that he had already bought the ring. He was being so rude, leaving the jewelry store to go talk on the phone right in the middle of my looking. Just acted really indifferent... my feelings were so hurt. I text my mom on our way home, "DON"T ASK!!! We didn't find a ring!!!!" I was in a BAD mood! When we got to his mom's house, I went in the back bedroom and went to sleep. I was not in the mood to be social w/ my inlaws. Later that night we sat & watched Finding Nemo and then he said he wanted to go for a walk. Well, of course I was in no mood for a walk. I just wanted to go home. We got to the end of the driveway and I told him I didn't want to walk to the park down the road... I just wanted to sit on the front porch and talk. So we turned around and he got down on the ground, and I was like, "I don't want to sit right here. I want to sit on the porch" and that's when he reached into his pocket & pulled out the ring. Boy was I surprised!!!!!!!

[emily]

Thanks for sharing! I love it! :)

[erin]

oh, this is tooo funny, steph!
thanks for sharing:)
my less-than-shining moment was when i figured out how he was going to propose:
drive me blindfolded up to lake tahoe in front of my extended family.
took him awhile to get over that me calling him out. what a dork i am, how romantic is that? i said it sarcastic tone too, when i asked if that was how.
took him 3 months to work up the courage after that.
ha!

[tania]

awwwwwwwww. best engagement story ever. :o) totally made me smile today.

[elana]

What an awesome story! But I think you should post that pic in color so we can get the full effect :)

[Debbie]

WHAT a great story!!!

[Michelle W.]

oh my gosh, what a great story!!!! Love stories like that :) I, too, didn't seen an engagement coming. My hubby had implied to me that it wouldn't be any time soon. He planned it out to propose in Greenfield Village (Michigan) and the morning we were supposed to go I didn't want to go. It was July and my allergies were in full force. I felt like crap. I *really* didn't want to go. Somehow he talked me into it. I'm glad he did! As we walked by the chapel there he said "wouldn't this be a nice place to get married??" I said yes (no clue). Then he said "it would be a nice place to get engaged" I said mmm hmm (still no clue...til I looked back at him and he had gotten down on one knee with the ring). We've been married for 8 1/2 yrs and now we're in Georgia :)

[Danielle Taylor]

what a beautiful proposal story!!!!

[Kirsten]

You just are so cute! My story is so boring...like when I shared with my friends, I got the, "what? thought you guys were already married..." Yeah. No. We weren't married and still living with our parents. Anyway, short vent over, those pj pants? Girl, said it before and I'll say it again. J is a keeper ;)

[Susan Weinroth]

OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.
best.BEST.engagement story ever.
and bonus points for the photo to go with it ;)
you are so cute!

[Houston]

Steph, you are hilarious and I truly enjoy every single post you write!
I have to say there is something about traveling in a car in Texas that causes even the most sane of women to loose their minds... When Aaron and I were engaged we traveled from Denver to Tyler so I could meet his Grandparents and extended family. On the way there we had a huge fight about having kids, he wanted them I was terrified... I said no way was I having children. We didn't speak much from Amarillo to Tyler, it was a loooonnnngggg drive to say the least. Ironically the next time we drove to Tyler, 2 years later and again at Thanksgiving, we had our 9 month old son in the backseat ;)
Hope you and the chickies are having a very "gully" time!

[kendra]

Ah-ha-ha! Cute story! I waited FIVE years (Shawn's a cautions planner, too) and I went through all the same emotions. When we finally got engaged and I showed his mom the ring, she said, "Well it's about dang time. I've been so mad at him. I didn't think he was ever going to ask you!"

So glad someone thought to take a photo!!!

[Jennifer B]

guys love to mess with our heads huh? mine proposed to me in my bedroom of my folks house I also was in my pj's ready for bed. I jumped on him and knocked him over, seriously, I have been love with him since I was 10. He waited long enough :)

[Michele L]

Stephanie, this is so hilarious and so so so schweeet! such a lovely story!

[Cheryl]

Your engagement story is so funny and sweet. What a wonderful memory! My husband and I had only known each other for 2 months when he proposed...after meeting my family on Thanksgiving. It seemed totally crazy and exactly the right thing all at once. A few months later, we eloped. We've been married just shy of 15 years, so it all worked out perfectly. Through deployments, kids, worrying about money, working on our house and all the other stresses of life, he's still the one...the one that makes me smile even when I don't want to, makes me laugh until I just about pee myself and makes me tingle every time he touches me.

[virginia]

bah ha ha- this is awesome, love the jammers. i was away for a few days so behind on my daily reads.
i love engagement stories -- mine was funny; i had been telling my husband "don't ask me to marry you yet - i would say no" (he's 3 years older and i was young...knew it would be him but just wasn't ready for that step yet you know? ) - anyway when i was aroudn 23 (i think) i finally said "well, if you asked me i wouldn't say no" (so polite eh?)...soon after that we were in NYC for a weekend (i was there for work) - so didn't really think much of it...we were ALL over the city that weekend, Chinatown was one of our stops and I stopped at the fake rings and REALLY wanted to get one (I was travelling for work a ton at that point and wanted something to stop the pervies from trying to pick me up)...anyway I went ON and ON about wanting the ring...he kept tryign to disuade me "dont' be silly...you don't need that etc etc"...later that night he proposed and when i saw the ring i said "is that real????????" - seriously thinking it was from the chinatown flea market....haha.

[Patti]

this has nothing to do with your engagement, although the story was so cute:) you used to have a little section on your blog that showed what books you have been reading. I'm headed to the library and looking for some good books- can you tell me 5 good books you've read lately?? Thanks!:):)

[Stephanie Howell]

sure, patti!1. the time traveler's wife- audrey niffenegger
2. home safe- elizabeth berg
3. the guernsey literary and potato peel pie society- Mary Ann Shaffer
4. anything by jen lancaster.
5. little bee by chris cleave
6. american wife by curtis sittenfeld

[Julie]

Ahh!! Such a sweet story! And wonderfully told. Your picture at the end is *priceless*!!!!!!!

[Carla]

that is the most romantic story I have heard in a while!

Its sad to say but I don't think I was proposed to. I think about it from time to time and I have no recollection of him proposing. Ours was one of those we weren't sure if it was the right thing to do even though we had been together for a while. Starting about about 5 years - I knew that I would spend the rest of my life with him. We have both been married before and we were good the way we were but I started to want more. And then it started, I was ready and he wasn't and then vice versa and this went on for 2 years. In November of 2005 we talked about it again and we realized we were both ready at the same time and then it was on. I planned our wedding in 34 days. I had a gown but changed my mind and my mom made my dress, got our cake at all places - Walmart, we hired a minister to come to our house and invited our family and close friends. In total including us - there were only 13 people at our wedding. We said our "I do's" at 11:58pm on New Years Eve and we rang in the New Year with our first kiss as a married couple. I wouldn't change anything we did except I would have hired a photographer instead of depending on a friend. The cake was honestly the best cake I have ever had from a grocery store.

We've talked about it and when we hit 10 years married we are going to Hawaii and we are renewing - just us on the beach at sunset. At that time, I want the diamond (past, present and future style) to go with my band that I have now. As of right now, we are about to hit 11 years as a couple and this December will be 4 years married.

[Patti]

Thanks Stephanie- can't wait to check these books out!

[Tina Cockburn]

Thank you for sharing your fantastic story. Love the outfit!

My hubby proposed to me on a March evening 9 years ago while I was sitting in bed up to my eyeballs in tax forms and f-bombs. I was bra-less and in sweats and was seriously expecting commiseration and not a proposal. But I said yes, we bought a ring together the next day and we were married that December. And I didn't owe the IRS a penny!

[Suezi gurzi]

again another heart soaring post! And yes one of the most romantic stories I have read, leopard pjs and gripper booties and all!