question.

what does Memorial Day mean to you?

cookouts? barbecue? cocktails?

a day off work? the beginning of the summer?

or does it mean more?

what does Memorial Day mean to me?

remembering.

remembering the eight boys. eight men. who lost their lives the year my husband was in the valley of death.

remembering how many of them left and never came home.

and of the ones that did, how many were changed.

remembering.

the memorial services. hearing taps. amazing grace.

hearing the guns fire,

roll called, and when they called those soldiers names?

silence.

remembering.

digging my fingernails into my palms out of fear and grief.

fear that it could be, would be, me. next.

remembering.

the way my heart broke for my friends, and the ones who i didn't know, but my heart broke for them just the same.

...who lost husbands, daddies, sons, friends, brothers, soul mates.

remembering always.

the way that year changed me and everyone i knew who experienced it.

and how sad i am for everyone who lost someone.

for all the men who made the ultimate sacrifice.

for their bravery, selflessness, willingness to go.

please don't forget this day. don't lessen it and make it into something it's not meant to be.

of course...have fun! grill. spend time with friends.

but please remember the true meaning. please.

b/c if you don't?
then it trivializes what so many families have been through.

s

Comments

[Anna]

Amen sister! i am one of many that Jimmys special on CNBC. Take care.

Anna

[twitter.com/thisbirdietweet]

So true Stephanie and well put.

[Jessica Woodford]

Thank you for posting this.....it's so true. These men & women are very selfless...they are fighting for US!

Hope your Memorial Day is wonderful & relaxing!

xoxo's,
Jessica

[MicheyMoo]

Beautiful honey. Exactly what your Memorial Day and our Anzac Day means. (Though those of us with servicemen/women in our lives live it every day. xxx

[Kelly Jo]

Amen is right!
Well written.

[Kirsty Wiseman]

couldnt agree me, my friend. We celebrate rememberance day here in the UK on the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month...... long may it continue x

[Ruth]

Hear, hear. As Kirsty has already said, the UK's Remembrance Day is 11th November, but that doesn't mean that I'm not thinking of you today. I wear my Veteran's badge with great pride.

[Danielle]

Thank you for writing this...some of us may need this reminder to really appreciate what this day really means, so again thank you!

[Amy H]

Thank you for sharing this. It's so true!

[Debby Schuh]

So well put! Thinking of the families of the fallen soldiers today.
For the next month Brandon is part of the troop that escorts the fallen as they return to base. Every day they practice the details of their movements... all to show respect to the soldiers in these small ways. I've never appreciated the sacrifice like I do now.
Have a good day... praying for you the girls, and Jimmy.

[jenney]

So beautifully written. We all need this reminder every day - not just Memorial Day. Thank you!

[Holly S]

Thank you for the gentle reminder of what this day is really about-we as a nation are eternally grateful for all the sacrifices those in the military make and their families-so grateful that these men and women give up everything in their lives to ensure freedom for all of us-including the bad guys-how special is that! Peace to you and your military families today and every day. XOXO

[Amanda Newberry]

Thank you for writing this-may we remember daily the dedication that our service men, women, and families give for us. May God continue to keep them safe!

[Cynthia Friese]

Wonderful. I just recently discovered your blog recently Via Mrs. CZ:)Thanks for this post. My Dad (always a Marine:) served in Vietnam and he taught me yes the grilling is fun. But, never forget the Boys that never came home.

[may flaum]

Couldn't agree more, but in fact I think people should try to respect & remember it much more often than one Monday a year. I sure do, I will never forget.

Big Hugs.

[JaYne]

So well said Stephanie! While it's important to remember and pray for all of our Vets. Today is the day to remember those who gave the Ultimate Sacrifice. I will never forget!

[Jonnelle]

Such a beautiful post, thank you!

[Ally]

Before knowing YOU, this day meant very little. I had no context for its meaning. But to be honest, your posts bring to the forefront why we share this day in our country. It's funny because all weekend, I've been thinking of you... because of the many times I've ready what you've written - so eloquently - about this day's meaning to you and your family. Thinking of you, makes me think of the men and women who serve our country and reminds me that they are the reason I have an extra off of work. So, I can tell you - that because of YOU - I say a little thanks in my head every year now.

[celeste]

Amen to that!

[Dana]

Very well said. While we here in Canada do not have Memorial Day this weekend, we remember the fallen on November 11. Your post sent chills down my spine; we who are outside of the military life often remark on the losses, and how sad that is, but we don't really KNOW, do we? We don't KNOW what the platoon and their families go through when they get news like this. Your post brought that home. Thank you. And I hope you have a wonderful Memorial Day!

[Linda E]

Beautifully said. My heartfelt thanks to all who serve this great country.

[Olivia]

Beautiful sentiments...made me cry and remember and appreciate the freedoms I have. Thank you for taking the time to express the thoughts that many of us, running through this busy life, seem to forget. I too remember my grandfathers who served. One was in the Navy and had two ships sink under him and the other was in the Army, was in Italy and stormed Normandy. I know so little of their time in the service and I wish I could sit down and hear their stories. But they both died when I was too young to sit and listen or be interested enough to ask. I feel the loss again today, not just the stories they took with them, but also the loss of losing them too soon.

Thank you again for your beautiful words. You are an amazing woman, beautiful inside and out. You are in my thoughts and prayers with your ever expanding family and Jimmy's new deployment.

Hugs!
Olivia

[Vivian]

Well said - tanks for the reminder!
Have a great day!

[Vivian]

Oh oops!!!! - that should have said thanks....I need to spell check, spell check!!!

[Barb @ getupandplay]

Thank you for this beautiful reminder.

[Rachel]

Beautiful post Stephanie!!

[Angela W]

This is a wonderful post Steph. Thanks so much for reminding us the true meaning. I am thankful for all of our servicemen and woman and all they sacrifice. Hugs to you and your family.

[[email protected]]

so very true; our country is blessed because of all the people who help keep us safe, those that gave their lives to keep us safe.... I thank each and everyone every day. Where would we be without them????
Have a safe and enjoyable day... with love from OKC

[Ana F.]

Thank you, Stephanie. This is a beautiful post.

[Wendy]

Stephanie - I'm usually just a reader of your blog and not a poster. However, your post today and your layout of Sadie really touched me. I'm from Canada and we have a different day that we honour our soldiers. However, your post really spoke to me today. It made me think of my grandfather who also fought in WW2. It made me think of my husband's best friend and his wife who have been brave enough as soldiers to go to the war in Afghanistan. It has made think about the other families - who wait with baited breath for their loved ones to return or who have learned that they have paid the ultimate sacrifice. God bless all of these families today. And god bless to you and your husband for taking the time today to remember what is truly important in this world - family, love and honour.

[summer]

so very well said, Memorial Day is always a bittersweet day around here. so thankful that my husband has made it home safely so many times and so thankful for the sacrifice that other men, women and families have made. your experience with J hit so very close to home during the attacks on Bagram and Kandahar last week, I felt my heart pause until I got the phone call that everything was fine, but at the same time could not shake thinking about the families that would never be the same. definitely taking time to remember and be thankful today.

[pidgen]

Thank you Stephanie. You are always a kind of "beautiful reality check" many of us. This was a lovely and sobering post. Prayers for your family! (And for all those who serve.)

[Shelly C]

Well said Stephanie!

[Margaret]

Beuatifully said Stephanie. I'm so blessed that my soldier is home to cook breakfast today, but sobered that so many aren't.
God bless those who have served, those who continue to serve, and those who stand and wait.

[Becca]

Very well written! And for my part, thank you just doesn't seem like enough. Becca

[Ginny C.]

Thank you, Stephanie, often you put into words what I am thinking. We are all so lucky to live in this wonderful country & I'm afraid we don't appreciate it or our soldiers enough. My husband & I were visiting family graves on Saturday & I thought much the same as you. It is a small country cemetery with a small center circle of American flags. But what affected me most were all of the small flags on graves all over the cemetery. Each one of these brave men had served to keep us free. We are so blessed.

[erin]

very well said.
my cousins and dear family friends are serving.
we thank God daily for wisdom, strength, and protection for all the soldiers.
Amen!

[Mustanglovers]

what an amazing post! so true and so elequently said! God bless you and your family. tell your husband thank you for all of his sacrifices, and thank you for your sacrifices, and thanks to your little ones for their sacrifices that they might not even realize yet. GOD BLESS!!!!!

[tara pakosta]

Today it's pouring rain and it fits the mood of the day. I have been talking with my girls the last few days about what Memorial Day really means. They get it and I love that, I want them to understand what these brave men fight for and to really apprecaite their Freedom!
tara

[Cameron]

I love that you said that those who survived have been changed... I think of that all the time and am disappointed that more people don't realize that impact. I'm remembering.

[Wendi K]

Thank you!

[Debbie]

Thank you so much!! Although my brother came back from Iraq...he'll never be the same. He's damaged....in every way. His family suffers along with him. We love him beyond words!! Thank you for the reminder of those who made a grateful sacrifice. May God bless you and your family!

[Melinda K]

I think it means all of those things to me...of course the cookouts, the time off work, a long weekend to spend with friends and family, the official start to summer...but I will never forget that the meaning truly is to memorialize and remember those who make the sacrifice to provide us the freedoms we have- both past and present!

[Erin B]

You know, I woke up this morning thinking about reading your blog. I remember your post from last year. So powerful and so beautiful. Big heartfelt thanks to your soldier and your family and to all who have served or are serving.

[Avital]

Where I am coming from (my own personal history) Memorial Day is about appreciating the gift of life and living safely, given to us by many young men and women who will never get old.

Memorial Day is knowing that without them there will have not been us. Plain and simple.

[Holly]

Thanks for your comments on this day - very profound and touching.

[lisa]

Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

[Sara]

Thanks for this reminder.

[Lynnette]

As a fellow Army wife, your post had me in tears. My husband is currently on his way home from a year in Afghanistan and while I am very thankful that he is coming home safe, my heart absolutely breaks for all the families who's soldiers won't be coming home. Thanks so much for reminding people about just how important today really is. :)

[Lonely Scrapbooker]

Beautiful post. And beautiful page!
We don't "do" memorial day here in Jamaica but we have similar things to ponder on, so your point is taken.
I also wanted to tell you that I scraplifted your LO that was on the cover of the April 2010 Ella e-zine. It's here: http://wickysticket.blogspot.com/2010/05/and-just-like-that-load-day-31.html
You must be so tired of my scraplifting you! But you are just so inspiring.

[Jaymi]

God bless you, your family & all the families of our brave soldiers today & always. My veteran left for Washington DC with our twins on their 8th grade field trip early this morning. I know they'll be placing a wreath on the grave of one of our local boys today or tomorrow & DH and many others will be explaining much about the bravery & importance of our armed services. I can't think of a better place for them to be today. I will continue sending prayers & blessings your way. Thanks so much for your personal sacrifice.

[Tiffany]

Couldn't agree more Steph! Thinking and thanking those men/women and families who have sacrificed so much so that we could experience freedom in our country.

[Carrie K]

tears streaming...i can just feel all the emotion in your words and it breaks my heart!

thank you J for your service and thank you Steph for everything you do so that he can serve!

i am forever grateful to those who keep serving and especially to those who never came home...

[Susan Roh]

I'm up in Canada and our Remembrance Day to honour our soldiers, current and fallen is Nov. 11, but to see your words, there in black and white has touched a chord. Crying and thinking of so many families who have been impacted and that there is still a fight going on. May there soon be some peace.

[Nicole]

Amen. So beautifully written, Steph, and I couldn't agree more. Thank you to those who gave the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom and to those who continue to serve and have served (my hubby included).

[AshleyC]

Beautifully said. Thank you for this. I know this day is extremely important to remember those who have given their lives for our freedom. Thank you to your hubby for serving our country!

[Suz]

beautifully said from the heart Stephanie.

[Jenni Hufford]

thank you Howell family for your service to our country. always in my prayers. xoxo

[Kathleen Loughran]

a humble thank you!

[Bianca]

happy memorial day to youu! hope it's amazing and relaxing!
love that page!!!

[Keshet]

Such an important reminder. I thought of this day in a whole new light once "knowing" you and your family through the blog. I was never so close to the world of the army here, but seeing it from your eyes has brought it so much meaning.

[Leslie]

Thank you for not only today's post about remembering, but all the posts you've shared about being an American full of bravery and courage. My fiance was in the Army prior to me meeting him and now I'm more drawn to his stories than before mostly because of your blog. I never really understood before, but I have such a deeper appreciation for what I have. I value our country and the men and women that fight for us. Also, thought you might like this article from my home paper: http://www.indystar.com/article/20100531/LOCAL/5310327/1001/NEWS/Military-widow-makes-it-her-goal-to-promote-the-flag
Happy Memorial Day!
Leslie

[Tina B.]

Very well put and thank you for posting it...I wish everyone could read this post!!

[amy m]

I love the idea of remembering what this day is about. I think of my grandpa who was at the Normandy invasion (WWII) and earned a Silver Star, Purple Hearts, etc. b/c of his heroic actions. I think of my husband, the father of my four boys, who is serving his second deployment in Iraq. I think of the families who have lost someone, and it breaks my heart. We need to do more than remember. We need to do more than wear a magnetic yellow ribbon on our car. Call someone who served or is serving and thank them.

[Gayle P]

what a beautiful post! thank you for sharing your special words with us.

[Ally White]

What a great post Stephanie! Thank you for helping us remember what the day is all about. Your layout is fabulous and the picture of our daughter holding the flag is precious.

[Lea]

a beautiful, heartfelt post Stephanie.

[Kim S.]

I remember. My family watched "Section 60", an HBO documentary today. It's the section of Arlington National Cemetery set aside for those lost in Operation Iraqi Freedom. Heartwrenching.

[Sue Pardue]

Very well said. I have the exact same feelings about Memorial Day. My husband and I have lost far too many friends in this war. It makes me sad for their wives, children, and families. I get annoyed when people say, "Happy Memorial Day" because there's really nothing happy about it. I know that most people see it as a long weekend, start of summer, time to grill out, hang out, shop, etc. but it means so much more to me.

[Dolly]

This weekend I was blessed to add a new SIL to my family, PVT Jonathan Shopshire-Burges married my baby girl on Friday...my son, US Navy...my other SIL, USAF Reserves. Thank you for so eloquently remembering the true meaning of Memorial Day. Blessings to you and J and the girls Stephanie.

[Melissa Priest]

Hey Stephanie! Thanks for the thoughtful post. I wanted to say congrats about your photo of J's homecoming making it on The Pioneer Womans blog!

[Colleen Sheehy]

Beautiful post. We will remember.

[sarah]

This is beautifully stated. Thank you.

[Mel brewin]

Beautifully said Steph. Although I haven't lost anyone over there my prayers and thoughts are always with them. An amazing sacrifice for us all.
M xx

[Amy]

Absolutely...always remembering!

[Kathy Martin]

This page is DARLING! :)

[Danielle]

What a powerful post! I'm sitting here in tears. Hopefully, we ALL remember. And thank YOU. and your husband. The sacrifice is not only of the soldiers, but of their FAMILIES, too.

And that layout is adorable. Your little girl carrying the flag is just too cute!

[Sarah]

Steph, as I watched the Memorial Day service from Washington D.C. on Sunday night, I thought of you. One of the special emphasis was on the widows of our servicemen. I thought of how Jimmy had lost so many of his friends/fellow servicemen last year, and how their families would be feeling right now. It is so humbling at times to think about what those families and those men and women have sacrificed for our country. I have thanked you before, but thank you once again. You and J are in my prayers always!

[katey]

love your layout! and congrats on your peas in the pod!

[Rosa]

I was really touched by your post...and glad to find that there are other people out there like you trying to make it a meaningful day, maybe you already saw it but if you didnt check out the pioneer woman's series "coming home" http://thepioneerwoman.com/photography/