so i've seen lots of talk "out there" in blog/online scrapbooking world lately.
on message boards and blogs, people talking about blogs and whether they should represent reality, or paint a pretty picture of perfection.
one of my friends brought this up recently on her blog, wondering aloud if as women scrapbookers in this industry, it was our responsibility to make our lives look perfect.
my opinion on this subject? a resounding no.
everything that follows is my opinion. that's it. it's not intended as a knock to any specific bloggers out there. it's just my thoughts on the subject matter.
i think that presenting your life as a perfect, beautiful, flawless movie script...well, i think all that does is make other people feel bad about their lives.
i have ten, twenty times more respect for authenticity than i do for false perfection.
i know this much is true. no one has a perfect life. it's simply not possible.
i have a happy, blessed, fulfilled life. but is it perfect? NO!!!!
as women, we should not be scared to share this. we need to empathize with each other...support and encourage each other. and let's start by admitting that are lives are simply not flawless.
here's my reality.
1. my bed is unmade. is most days. what's the point? no one is here to see it, and i nap every day any way!
2. i'm lonely. i miss my husband and worry about him.
3. it goes without saying that i adore my girls. but sometimes i don't know what to do with them. i don't feel like i'm doing enough. organizing enough activities. preparing them enough. being the best mom i can be. sometimes i look at the clock at 3 pm. i know jimmy isn't coming home and i think WHAT IN THE WORLD are we going to do until bedtime?
4. i wear my hair in a bun every day. no makeup. i wear glasses. i don't wear anthropologie every day. i wear target.
5.my idea of a big fancy dinner when J is gone is spaghetti. lots of the time we just go somewhere to eat, b/c then it seems like an adventure!
6. there are dirty dishes in my sink.
7. i can't keep my entire house clean. as pretty as it is, it's too much for me. i'm actually looking forward to moving to savannah and starting over in a more manageable home. my dream house is actually too much! we do better with smaller homes.
8. i don't feel like i entirely fit in here. i have a new friend of my heart who i will hate to leave. so glad i found her, b/c i felt like i didn't fit. it's hard to try to make new friends, over and over. especially ones that aren't really receptive.
9. i need to do laundry. BADLY. my entire basement is covered in piles of laundry that need to be sorted and brought upstairs!!
10. i'm not scrapbooking much right now. i just don't have the drive. it's not making me throw up (:)) any more, but it's not making me happy. i look forward to that coming back. but when the babies come, it will have to go by the wayside for quite some time. i am already paring back on some of my commitments. b/c my REAL commitment? is my family.
so there you have it. that's the truth. and it didn't hurt to admit it. not one little bit. b/c i suspect most of you can identify with this post in some way. and i don't think ANY of you thought i was perfect. HEEE! if you have a blog, i challenge you to do a post like this...it's fun and freeing. :)
hope you have a beautiful thursday!
xxo
s
I just did a giant photo filled blog post about this...how my day is so not perfect, and my life is so not perfect, and I couldn't even attempt to make it look perfect if I tried! I love that you keep it real. That's one of my favorite things about you. :) And I totally get the "not doing enough." Miri is only a year, but already I am feeling like I don't do enough!
Posted by: justem | 06/10/2010 at 06:56 AM
"as women, we should not be scared to share this. we need to empathize with each other...support and encourage each other. and let's start by admitting that are lives are simply not flawless."
I agree with this 100%!!! I think so many women have felt they are "bad" moms in the past because women just didn't tell it like it is.
My mom and mother-in-law never really shared what being a mom was like for them. It's always kind of seen through rose colored glasses now.
But that didn't help me when my first was born and I had no clue what I was doing (lol)
I think the more we share - the good and the ugly - the more we as women can feel "normal" And I don't mean TMI on everything. But enough to support each other :0)
When I was a parent educator doing home visits for new parents, I was never afraid to share stories of my own parenting successes and failures. Things that I thought may help them. Things that would reassure them it would be ok :0)
Perfection is overrated in my opinion :0)
Posted by: Mary Jo | 06/10/2010 at 07:00 AM
I love you, Stephanie. Just the way you are. Imperfect wonder.
Posted by: Sudie Alexander | 06/10/2010 at 07:02 AM
I couldn't agree more with you!!!! Our lives are not perfect and why pretend they are?? You may just have inspired me to blog once again!!
Posted by: Lori Borntreger | 06/10/2010 at 07:04 AM
you are awesome. you have always been honest and transparent on your blog, which is why I think so many people identify with you. It's a joy to stop by and read about your life.
I agree with everything you said- life is too short to put out a false persona and isolate ourselves (and others)... there is such beauty and helping others through our life experiences.
thank you for being you!!
Posted by: Jenni Hufford | 06/10/2010 at 07:08 AM
Thank you so much for sharing, Stephanie! I agree with you totally! Thank you so much for sharing your imperfections - because really, they are all of our imperfections, and it's okay! Even outside of blog-land, I feel like there's this pressure to always have everything perfect, just so, or you are looked down on, like, why ISN'T your bed made? It's such a facade. Thanks for the reminder! :)
Posted by: Amy H | 06/10/2010 at 07:10 AM
I think we NEED to hear about the inperfections ... just as much as we NEED to share them.
As much as I love Martha Stewart, it would make my day to see a cobweb hanging down from one of her cabinets or a stain on her couch.
Most days, I feel like I'm running an impossible race and it's lovely to know that I'm not the only one :)
Posted by: Tara | 06/10/2010 at 07:12 AM
I've been having one of those days... I was actually googling these feelings to make sure I wasn't the only one! and then I see this and I think you just articulated all of my thoughts on your blog, even down to the spaghetti and hair bun. so comforting to read. I just can't tell you...
Posted by: kate nazif | 06/10/2010 at 07:23 AM
Seriously, I could copy and paste a few of these onto my own blog. ;-)
Thank you for always being real and not afraid to look "imperfect."
BTW, we wonder why girls and women have such low self esteem - because we think we're supposed to be perfect all the time. Gross!
Posted by: jenney | 06/10/2010 at 07:26 AM
great post, steph.
i adore and admire you, but i respect that your life is not perfect. i understand that no one's life is perfect! mine included! i'm going to go with your nudge and post about 'my reality' tonight! thank you for the push! :)
*
Posted by: lauren | 06/10/2010 at 07:34 AM
Phew, when I first started reading I thought you were going to say that you were going to stop doing non-scrapping entries. Almost had a panic attack there! Your imperfections have helped me in times of need. PS - I don't make my bed either!
Posted by: Michelle S. | 06/10/2010 at 07:44 AM
Well said! My MIL always puts forward a "perfect" image of herself and family. She always insists we 'hide' those things that are not going well in our lives...I refuse to! I tell her all the time that when you look at someone, you see only what they want you to see...you have no idea what happens behind closed doors at their home and if you did know, you'd realize they have just as many troubles as everyone else does...maybe bigger or smaller but it's there. Love the honesty here...quite refreshing in this blog land! XOXO
Posted by: Holly S | 06/10/2010 at 07:46 AM
LOVED THAT!! Here Here :) :)
I played too :)
http://katarooskitchen.blogspot.com/2010/06/my-realality.html
Posted by: katie squires | 06/10/2010 at 07:53 AM
In absolute agreement with you. It's lovely and inspiring to see pictures of bloggers' beautiful homes, beautiful layouts, picture-perfect children..., but there is beauty in the same bloggers sharing their imperfections and their struggles. One of the main reasons that I follow your blog is that it feels real and authentic to me. I don't get the sense that you are putting up a perfect facade for all the blog readers to see. Along with your triumphs, you share your struggles and frustrations, and I find that perfect, perfectly normal and perfectly relatable. So thanks for being you.
Posted by: Sarah K | 06/10/2010 at 08:12 AM
What a great post. I just love reading your blog and seeing your layouts!! You come across as so real and genuine and I LOVE that - such a doll and an inspiration! Have a wonderful week! :)
Posted by: KristinA | 06/10/2010 at 08:12 AM
Well said!!! Once again thanks for encouraging everyone to just be themselves and happy with the person they are!!!
Posted by: Holly | 06/10/2010 at 08:14 AM
Isn't it so true!!!.... those who try to paint the perfect, pretty life can make those of us who know we do not always have it all together feel like we are less than adequate. I respect you way more for having authenticity in your blog entries. Life is certainly not perfect. Heck I can relate to several of those on your list. Good on ya for being YOU!
Posted by: Melinda K | 06/10/2010 at 08:22 AM
I enjoyed this read. When I read your last sentence, I realized my blog is not one of those "perfect perception" blogs. I am really a "to the point" kind of a gal. I guess it comes to my upbringing. As a military brat one does not have time to dawdle and I know all about making friends in new places. It can be daunting and down right depressing because you have to get to know someone over and over again. This too will become easier as your "J" climbs the military ladder. I am envious of you moving to Savannah. It is one of my all time favorite cities in the world. Rich in history and the beauty is incredible.
You will do just fine with you new babies and the greatest of all...You are having this wonderful family with someone you adore and he, you. You do have the best of many worlds. Your creativity will come about in other ways as you step back from your scrapbooking a bit to adjust to the dynamic change within your family. This is an exciting time and just keep your camera with you as when you have some "stolen" moments you will have them ready to record with pretty paper and your written word.
Posted by: Kimberly | 06/10/2010 at 08:26 AM
Too true, Steph. I think honest and authentic is the only way to go (in life and in scrapbooking). Why pretend to be perfect when we are all wonderful just as we are? Thanks for a great post. Love your blog.
Posted by: Cathie | 06/10/2010 at 08:26 AM
I love this Post!!! You say what we all feel and we all at one time or the other have at least one of the things on your list happening in our homes!
Posted by: jennifer b | 06/10/2010 at 08:27 AM
Well said Steph! Some of your layouts in the past have touched on the "not perfect" aspects of your life. I love those just as much. Scrap the good with the bad! It's so refreshing to see. We are all doing the best we can.
P.S. I don't make my bed either!
Posted by: Carrie Jordan Dewes | 06/10/2010 at 08:33 AM
Thank you for writing this. I have been scrapbooking for 10 years. Rarely do we see "behind the scenes." It's all happy, perfect pages. I gave up so many times on a layout and scrapbooking because I felt what I had wasn't good enough. I didn't have the perfect family. Until now, I didn't have a child to scrap about and I saw children layouts gallore. I don't have the perfect home. I could go on but you get the picture. I have now sold almost all of my paper scrapbook stuff and I am just going to do digital. It really did stress me out thinking that what I had wasn't good enough. I wish more people would see this and document everything...but there aren't pretty papers for the not so good things.....
Posted by: rhonda | 06/10/2010 at 08:36 AM
What a great post. I really enjoy reading your blog because you are just yourself and happy to share what life is TRULY like.
I certainly don't have a perfect life, nor perfect kids [and most of the time an unmade bed! :-)] But my kids often tell me I'm the bestest Mum in the whole World - although I often FEEL a failure or that I'm letting them down, or could do/be better.
The time you spend with your girls is the most precious thing, and they will remember as they look over their scrapbooks in years to come how you were there for them, how you had fun with them and made time for them. And that's what motherhood is all about.
Congratulations on your twins by the way. I always thought I would have liked to have twins, and I have a few friends who were blessed that way. My dentist has triplets ... now that's a whole 'nother story!
Bless ya,
Fee x
Posted by: Fiona | 06/10/2010 at 08:44 AM
What a wonderful post! Though I know no one is perfect, it's nice to hear from others. I have a hard time letting go of my guilt about not being the perfect mom & this post made my heart less heavy!! Thanks!
Hope you all are hanging in there!!
Posted by: Stephanie Eaken | 06/10/2010 at 08:45 AM
Hear hear!!!!
Posted by: Sarah Lou | 06/10/2010 at 08:56 AM
Amen! I think there is a terrible presssure, on women in particular, to be the rock, to hold everything together and to look seamless to the world. So agree with your #2, being a military wife is a tough thing and somedays I just want to cry and miss him and I've decided that's okay :) As for #1, the only reason i make my bed is to deter myself from napping, which always fails, I just do it on the couch :) Thanks so much for your honesty, it's soooo refreshing!
Posted by: summer | 06/10/2010 at 09:05 AM
I found your blog a few months ago, and I am drawn to it for many reasons. The main one is that I also have two girls, but mine are older now (12 & 14). I miss those dress up, silly, little girls days, but our days weren't perfect either and I distinctly remember those days that seemed so endless no matter how much I love them. Especially the days when my dh wasn't coming home! Just wanted to share that.
Another reason is that I love your scrapbook style. :)
Congratulations on your twins! My sister has toddler twins and they are so much fun and just beyond adorable.
Posted by: Rebecca | 06/10/2010 at 09:10 AM
You said it girl. It's ok to embrace those imperfections and own up. You're awesome.
Posted by: may flaum | 06/10/2010 at 09:11 AM
I can relate to a lot of your post!! Thanks for being real and sharing that! I respect you and appreciate you putting family first! I think you are amazing!
Posted by: Angie F | 06/10/2010 at 09:13 AM
You go girl! Authenticity is my goal in life too and it took me breaking things down and making that choice to realize how much happier I was once I recognized that being real was truly my goal. Thank you for sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly - we all live some form of it every day!
Posted by: Stephanie | 06/10/2010 at 09:14 AM
Perfect is boring!
I have found that making friends is a lifelong endeavor, even though I have not moved nearly as often as you. It is always a thrill to make a new friend of the heart, especially at my age!
Posted by: JoAnn Kirk | 06/10/2010 at 09:18 AM
http://aplaceformescraplog.wordpress.com/
ok, i did it. now, you have to read and leave a comment. lol.
if you remember me, we met at vintagefest. i was the one who had you text my friend on my phone.
Posted by: nicole petersen | 06/10/2010 at 09:20 AM
It's been said, but I love this post. Occasionally I read a post of someone that I know and they have shared a fairytale that I know isn't true but I wonder if they believe it. So thanks for your honesty. So refreshing!
Posted by: Nancy Naylor | 06/10/2010 at 09:23 AM
Steph...one of the things I love about your blog-o is your refreshing honesty. Really, really love it and appreciate it. :)
I know there are those who don't like to share their feelings and that's fine. Each to their own, but I'm a sharer (when appropriate) and I encourage those around me to do the same. I'd prefer real, flawed, lasting relationships than false, pretty ones that won't last the distance.
And you'll get their with the babies. It won't be perfect, there'll be a fair bit of mess & some crazy disorder involved but I bet at the end of every day each one of your kid-o's will always know how much Mum and Dad love em & believe in them. :)
(I'm a twinnie and it's an amazing relationship. I love my brother to the moon and back even though he's an active serviceman with our special forces. Yikes, he deploys and I'm climbing the walls at home for much of his time away.)
As you can see with the feedback to your post, we love you and your REAL reality. Don't ever change honey. xxx
Posted by: MicheyMoo | 06/10/2010 at 09:29 AM
stephanie... i have been critisized for scrapping the truth... i will be playing along.. and writting my blogpost as we speak...
you have always been an inspiration, not only with your layouts and art.. but with your words as well...
thank you for this post...
Posted by: Dorrie | 06/10/2010 at 09:32 AM
I love how REAL you are Stephanie! That's what makes me look forward to reading your blog daily!
Posted by: Meghann | 06/10/2010 at 09:33 AM
You inspire me Stephanie Howell! Wonderful post!
Posted by: Account Deleted | 06/10/2010 at 09:33 AM
PERFECT post!
Life is not perfect and we shouldn't make it out to be. It's those imperfections that help make life an adventure and fulfilling.
Hugs.
Posted by: Sherry Cartwright | 06/10/2010 at 09:43 AM
I'll give it a try today although have of what you've listed will be on mine. :)
Posted by: Tina | 06/10/2010 at 09:44 AM
Thank you. I really needed to hear that, I to often hold myself up to impossible standards and beat myself up when I dont get everything done.
Posted by: kyla hailstone | 06/10/2010 at 09:44 AM
Well done - thanks for your honesty.
I repeat, "you cannot do all things well" to myself constantly. We are preparing to move into a smaller home in a few weeks and I'm looking forward to it.
Posted by: Melanie | 06/10/2010 at 10:07 AM
I'm glad I'm not the only one that's not Perfect :)
Posted by: Deborah | 06/10/2010 at 10:09 AM
Well, I don't know how you did it but 3,6,7,8 and 9 are pulled straight out of my head ;) Especially 3, and it makes my heart hurt. I feel better knowing I'm that I'm not the only momma who feels that way. Thanks for keeping it real Steph. We can always count on you to post the good, bad and ugly bits of life.
Posted by: Kim | 06/10/2010 at 10:12 AM
lol! Well, I never thought you were perfect to begin with :-) You've always seemed human to me - and that's a good thing. Honestly, I don't spend much time on the blogs of people who look like they have it all figured out.
I enjoy the stories from people who struggle just like me, who have beautiful (but challenging) children just like me, and who don't have everything they want just like me.
I think you can have a lot of beauty and happiness without having it perfect. There is beauty in trial, and happiness is your own choice, not related to your circumstance.
I think that many times people will see a happy person, who find beauty in life- like yourself- and think it all much be perfect. Really, you've just chosen to embrace the good that you do have, and to choose happiness.
I have blog readers occasionally comment that everything seems so "perfect" and that I "have it all together"- not even close.
I think that to succeed as a military wife, you really need to learn how to make the best of things- and when people who haven't mastered that skill of creating joy out of your present reality, they just assume it must all be easier for you.
Posted by: Leah | 06/10/2010 at 10:15 AM
Two things...
1. I don't blog much because I felt like nobody want to read what my real everyday life is like. Sometimes I make beautiful/ colorful meals, but I don't have time to photograph them..blah, blah, blah. So I just admire you for blogging often. Always in the top ten of my must read google readers. Your life doesn't have to be perfect for me to keep reading your blog
2. About #8 on your list. I live in Charleston, SC and I would love to be your friend. If you want to go to flea markets, drive to Beaufort....what ever!! I am a receptive friend :) I am crazy busy with a new husband, school, and work, BUT I love meeting new people and you feel like an old friend anyway.
-jeny
Posted by: jeny | 06/10/2010 at 10:17 AM
Thank you Stephanie! This post made me feel better. I often feel that I am not doing enough for/with my girls (3 & 19 mos). It is nice to hear you have the same feelings. Your honesty and ability to put your thoughts in writing are inspiring.
Posted by: Laurie Ann | 06/10/2010 at 10:19 AM
rock on girlie...rock on. Im going right now to do this.
Posted by: Linda | 06/10/2010 at 10:19 AM
I first came to your blog looking for scrapbooking blogs. While I think your pages are pretty, they are not my style, and that's okay. I have stayed reading your blog because you share life so HONESTLY!! Your life is a HOOT and it brings back such found and crazy memories from when my own girls were little. Thank you for laying it all out there and being REAL!! You're a keeper!
Posted by: Becky Merkel | 06/10/2010 at 10:29 AM
I never make my bed either and everyone makes fun of me for that. My logic is the same as yours, minus the naps, I can't take naps or it will ruin what normal sleeping schedule I've managed. The house we just bought is overwelming to keep clean too, DARK wood floors + two shedding animals= hair on the floor ALL the time. You not make friends? Psh. If your husband was stationed where we are I'd be dying to be your friend :) I guess you came to Hunter 3 years to late for me haha
Posted by: Kristy | 06/10/2010 at 10:43 AM
I could identify with so many things on your list. Thanks for sharing & keeping it real.
Posted by: CJ | 06/10/2010 at 10:46 AM
Great post Stephanie. My life is far from perfect, I am far from perfect! My sister arrives for a 4 week visit on Saturday and I haven't even started tidying; she's just going to have to take us as she finds us. Life is for living, not for being perfect so we should enjoy it!
Posted by: Rhona | 06/10/2010 at 10:52 AM
I could have written this post, except my kids are a lot older and my dogs eat my shoes and furniture ;o)
You are a gem, and the world is a better place because of you.
B-
Posted by: Becky Olsen | 06/10/2010 at 10:55 AM
Amen and AMEN!
Posted by: Tonya D | 06/10/2010 at 10:58 AM
Fabulous post, Stephanie! You are among the majority of us who embrace their imperfections and have days that we struggle through just to reach the surface. I am definitely a sunflower amongst a bed of roses! My goal is to try to remember to live in the moment - it helps sometimes to just sit and breathe. NOTE: my bed is unmade as well! :0)
Posted by: Lillian Child | 06/10/2010 at 11:01 AM
Stephanie, sending a big hug your way (from someone who also doesn't make her bed or keep up her laundry very well!). I sometimes feel guilty for not keeping on top of stuff like that more, but with working full time, I get so little quiet time to myself and choose to do other things at night (read, hang out with husband, blog surf, create).
I think it gets harder to make friends as adults. Maybe once your girls are in school you'll meet other Moms that way. I have dear friends and sisters who don't live nearby, but have only one real friend locally.
Posted by: Laura | 06/10/2010 at 11:10 AM
Fabulous post, Steph! Yes, I can identify with just about all of your points! #3 especially! I have 2 boys and am not a stay at home mom, but I still wonder those same things. I will be glad when you show more of your wonderful creations, but I totally understand your family coming 1st. I have said before that your's is a blog that I have to read anytime you post. I love how real you are, and because of that it makes me feel like we are friends. Thanks!
Posted by: Angela W | 06/10/2010 at 11:15 AM
Well, and of course what we see of Martha Stewart's world is supported behind-the-scenes by an army of helpers and if there was a cobweb, it would be Photoshopped out of the pictures. :-)
Posted by: Laura | 06/10/2010 at 11:16 AM
I absolutely agree with everything you said (unmade beds & all!) I find it frustrating to read someone's blog or facebook page who makes it seem like their life is always perfect. I just wanna say "don't you get frustrated with your kids?? doesn't your husband drive you crazy sometimes??" Cause mine do!! hehe It used to bother me, but not anymore. I don't even try to be "fake" or perfect on my blog, it's just not me. I am who I am...flaws & all! And I took your challenge and posted something similar to yours on my blog :)
Posted by: Michelle Whitlow | 06/10/2010 at 11:21 AM
Thanks for sharing. Your list gave me an idea for a scrapbook page about my reality. Hang in there! Also, if I lived near you I would love to be your friend. :)
Posted by: Laura H. | 06/10/2010 at 11:27 AM
thank you thank you steph for being soooo honest all the time!! You are a wonderful lady!!!!
xo
i did a blog post on this =)
http://crayevich.blogspot.com/2010/06/one-with-beautiful-mess.html
Posted by: C. Rayevich | 06/10/2010 at 11:28 AM
Boy can I relate to everything you said. I have neighbors on either side of me..BOTH are obsessive compulsive..YIKES! Their houses are always perfect...and NO weeds..that's right! NONE! They are outside very day picking at their weeds! So weird. And my house looks just like yours. Esp. since I have a cold and my teens are tired, ready for summer, and do not want to do chores. Congratulations on having a normal life.
Posted by: Scrapycandy | 06/10/2010 at 11:29 AM
Love this post.
I am very into authenticity these days (gosh that makes me sound so trite and faddish, doesn't it? anywayz...) and you and Ali Edwards continually inspire me along that path. You two are the real deal and I love you for it. (I don't even know you but I'm saying I love you! aaahhh... this isn't coming out right! I hope you kwim!)
Now I have your challenge to go think about... .
Posted by: Lonely Scrapbooker | 06/10/2010 at 11:30 AM
The reason I read your blog is because you do post like a real person with a real life. There are precious few blogs I read, but yours and Karen Russel's are my favorites because not only are your children just about the cutest things I have ever seen, but because you don't sugar coat things and I can identify with you because you are not presenting yourself as the perfect person. I too have laundry that needs to be done, I am a great cook and enjoy cooking dinner- but cleaning up afterwards- uck- I hate it. I have 2 boys and I try my hardest to be a good mom, but I know I have days when I am anything but. I just tell myself the bad days help build their character and prepare them for the real world where people are sometimes irrational. I also know that the good days outweigh the bad. It is nice to read about other women who also admit their lives are not like an episode of Martha Stewart or The Brady Bunch. My life is very much like "The Middle" and I am alright with that, and I appreciate your honesty and the fact that you don't let other people's expectations dictate your actions.
Posted by: Molly | 06/10/2010 at 11:39 AM
Can I just say "I love you" with all the weirdness that goes with it? Because I do. You totally made my day by posting this. There are far too many blogs I read for the creative aspect that end up making me feel bad about my life and how I am not the "perfect" mom or "perfect" wife. I have even picked fights with my husband because of how he isn't the "perfect" husband, as bad as that may be. Thank you, Steph. You are a beautiful person and I thank God for you and ask that he keep you lifted up while J is gone and take special care of you with your precious goods. -B
Posted by: Account Deleted | 06/10/2010 at 11:51 AM
I love this post. I am always open and honest on my blog. I show my real life, and wouldn't have it any other way. Thank you for sharing, and thank you for the inspiration to do this. I will. :)
Posted by: Danielle Calhoun | 06/10/2010 at 11:53 AM
Well, you just burst my perfect bubble! POOF! hee hee!I am SO just kidding!!! :)
I *heart* you, Steph! Your reality is why I read your blog. It helps me to realize there are others out there who are and feel just like me! (especially when my hubby was in the army still)
Now that my kids are a little older, I'm starting to breathe a little more each day, but I still have some of the same thoughts as you about DOING enough for them and TEACHING them enough. I've come to realize that the things I am teaching them, though, are things that will help them in the real world and in life that's a good thing. Teaching them that noone is perfect is a good thing, Steph! :)
I will keep you in my prayers, sweetie! :)
Posted by: Nicole | 06/10/2010 at 12:03 PM
This is a FABULOUS post. You rock.
Posted by: Patti | 06/10/2010 at 12:05 PM
Well said Stephanie!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by: Tina | 06/10/2010 at 12:06 PM
Stephanie...I couldn't agree with you more. THANK YOU for sharing a bigger peak into your heart and life...makes me smile truly.
I am adding you to my prayer journal with your pregnancy and your husband. (((hugs)))
Loves,
K
Posted by: Kimberly Garofolo | 06/10/2010 at 12:07 PM
I am SO doing a post like this when I get home tonight. It might get scary LOL, but I think I'll feel better if I do. I've got a lot to say a lot of the time but many of us, including myself were brought up with the notion that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it all, right?? Well, I started my blog so it could be a place where I could share life, photos, art and vent if I want to. Doesn't mean it's always going to be a !@#$% session but sometimes (especially as women) I think we need that release, kinda like a good cry. LOL.
Love ya Steph!!!
Posted by: Christine Campbell | 06/10/2010 at 12:25 PM
really, I thought you wore dresses and pearls and looked like a million bucks everyday, stephanie! You shattered my image LOL! just kidding!!! HA!
seriously, some days I just don't blog the real because I don't want anyone judging me! but now that my blog is private and I KNOW who my readers are, now that is FREEING to me! I love your blog, the real, the good, the bad, the wonderfuL! and I adore YOU!
tara
Posted by: tara pakosta | 06/10/2010 at 12:34 PM
you do very well posting the real deal....
Posted by: sharron | 06/10/2010 at 12:35 PM
Oh Steph you are PERFECT! Love that you just tell it like it is. You rock girl.
Posted by: Svala, Iceland | 06/10/2010 at 12:37 PM
thanks for the inspiration to do this. i did it and it is cathartic! you can check my post out here.
http://karenmalloy.blogspot.com/2010/06/getting-real.html
Posted by: Karen Malloy | 06/10/2010 at 12:40 PM
Oh man can I relate with so many of these!! I agree no one has a perfect life but if OUR life makes us happy then it's perfect to US!
Posted by: Sara Rossi | 06/10/2010 at 12:48 PM
I wish a lot of "scrapbookers" read this post and realize that it isn't always about the "happy"...I don't write my blog as if I'm perfect and living the perfect life. And all of my layouts aren't happy, perfect layouts! Yes, a lot of them are, b/c I feel so grateful for the life that I have, but all of us have ups, downs, good times and bad and feelings that we need to get out...and that is what scrapbooking is for me...Not trying to paint some picture perfect life to make others jealous. I have to say I've quit going to a lot of blogs b/c it just doesn't seem like their "real" selves. It has to feel real to me to go there and I can identify better with those that do post real life! Thanks for this post:)
Posted by: Jessi W | 06/10/2010 at 12:50 PM
Not Perfect! Well that's just shattered my illusions! Only kidding - thank god you're not! I love the fact that we can all connect and realise that we are all the same - finding this on-line community of women has really helped me in accepting who I am (I'm the one with an ironing pile to rival Mt Vesuvius!) - sending love and hugs xxx
Posted by: Katherine | 06/10/2010 at 01:04 PM
I agree with everyone else here. I think you are amazing to do all the stuff you do, and to do it so well. Do you make mistakes? Of course. Do you learn from them? Of course. You are you, and that's why we all love ya so much! I'm going to do a post like this on my blog very soon. XOXOXO
Posted by: Amy Coose | 06/10/2010 at 01:06 PM
heee hee we have similar realities. I feel you on the 3pm thing. It's hard being a mama. Amazing- but still hard. thanks for this. I may do a little soul searching blog posting about it myself.
Posted by: Missy Marquette | 06/10/2010 at 01:17 PM
Thanks, Stephanie, for your honesty. I spent 29 years in a marriage where we lied to the world about how well things were going. I'm so glad to be free of that lie and that marriage. It's freeing to tell the truth and realize that no one's life is perfect, no matter how much we do to protect the truth.
Posted by: Ann | 06/10/2010 at 01:24 PM
I couldn't agree more! No one's life is perfect and I think it's counter productive really to present your life in that fashion. You can't live up to your own "blog life"!!
I am so with you on #8! I've had trouble fitting in at our current duty station and although there's a couple of people I'm sad to leave, for the most part I'm ready to hit the road next week. Sad.
Posted by: Christa Paustenbaugh | 06/10/2010 at 01:25 PM
Dear lady, life is a multifaceted experience... yes, there is great joy and yes there is great sadness and all the emotions in between. You allow us to see the woman behind the smile and that is very real and very much a gift. I have not been keeping up with my scrappy, blogging friends as my life has been hectic and life does come first. 1st congrats on the twins, may they bring double the joys. My father and Aunt were twins... so two angels just smiled and winked at you. My prayers are with your family as always especially that you are reunited once again for this great new adventure full of life!
Posted by: anne washington | 06/10/2010 at 01:41 PM
Thanks so much for sharing this, Stephanie!!! I can certainly relate to some of the things on your list. You've inspired me to share a little more about myself on my blog (which up to this point has always been very impersonal). I hope you're feeling good today!
Posted by: Stacy Cohen | 06/10/2010 at 01:44 PM
As everyone before me has commented, I really enjoyed this post. I "stumbled" upon you blog one day browsing through scrapbooking stuff, and have loved it ever since. (I even went back to the archives and read all the old posts I had missed) I love to see your layouts, but I enjoy more reading about your real life, because it is just so relatable. It is the single and most unique thing that I love about your blog: the fact that you talk about the good and the not so good, and the fact that you just seem like a very kind person. So I agree, women should not pretend to have perfect lives. Many of the most intimate conversations I have had with friends and family are during moments when I have been completely open and honest, and through those conversations, God has blessed my life. So here's to keeping it real!!
P.S. I especially relate to your number 3 on this post, as I have a beautiful almost 2 year old, and especially during the afternoon, all I can think about is that my husband get home pronto.
Posted by: Kayra Montañez | 06/10/2010 at 01:51 PM
well said! just yesterday i was talking about how a blog i read regularly, kind of annoys me that everything seems so "perfect". i still tune in... but i know it can't be all real!
love the honesty!
Posted by: Robyn | 06/10/2010 at 01:58 PM
Thanks Steph for keeping it real as always. Inspired by you I changed the tone of my blog post today from the possibly "isn't this a perfect day" post to keep it a little more real.
http://crafterbeth.blogspot.com/
Posted by: Beth | 06/10/2010 at 01:58 PM
Stephanie!!! I read Kelly's blog too and after that I really started looking at my blog.
Of course it's different because it's my shop's blog....but I became pretty sad with all the post. My post are vague and they are not about us. They look so pretty. I tried to have 2 blogs (one for the shop & another about us) and that didn't work (no extra time).
I realized then and there, if people are offended by the real me...well, they can move on. If they choose not to shop from me because I have a potty mouth from time to time...well can't change that. I miss blogging about my life, my kids and most of all I miss pictures of us. The ugly ones...with ugly stories like melt downs. From me. LOL
SO...on Monday I took back my BLOG. I removed the "fans page" & moved the followers to the bottom. This way I can just BLOG, with out the worry. I'm not a manufacturer, I'm just a girl who makes tags. A funny, chubby intelligent woman. Take me or leave me.
And all God's children said...AMEN!!!! :)
Sorry, but I love you. You really help me out, mentally that is. hahah This mommy-hood is tough shit. :D
Ever consider being a therapist?? I have a degree lying aroung here...perhaps I should let you borrow it. HA!
Posted by: veronica | 06/10/2010 at 02:16 PM
Oh Thank you so much for this post Stephanie!!!! I often look at others Blogs and feel kinda down because I feel like if I put something on my Blog that is not so great...I will depress everyone!!! I have been having some health issues and I fear that people will feel sorry for me...Empathy is good. sorry not!!!
I loved reading your post and thanks for inspiring me!!!
Have a great day filled with wonderful naps!!!
Posted by: Jocelyn | 06/10/2010 at 02:21 PM
One of the things I love most about your blog is that you keep it real and you tell it like it is. My blog is boring. I don't pretend to have a perfect life, yet I don't really share all the details either. hmmm. You may have inspired a post...
Posted by: Erin B | 06/10/2010 at 02:28 PM
Stephanie- You ROCK! I am so glad you tell it like it is. My hair is in a bun..I do have my contacts in an make up on, but I am at work. I didn't make my bed, I just shut the bedroom door. There were some dirty dishes in the sink, there is tons of laundry to do. But I have raised 2 beautiful, kind, hard working daughters. They love Jesus, and they are NICE girls. I have struggled so much in the last 20 years trying to have it together and be the perfect wife and perfect mom, perfect friend, perfect employee. and i have come to the conclusion that I CAN'T DO IT! I am short sometimes, and lazy and tired after I get home and i miss friends birthdays by a few days or am 10 minutes late for church....but I am doing the best that I can with what I have, and it is OK. You have your priorities straight girl. I wish you much success with your twins. My only advice is to take lots of pictures, and keep a short/brief journal, cause the first year will pass in a sleep deprived blur..but someday, you will look back and want to remember. :-D I didn't do a very good job of that, and it is my one regret.
Posted by: OlyGirl | 06/10/2010 at 02:34 PM
You should see my blog--I think I do posts like this too much! Hee! But seriously, I love this. you can't find a kindred spirit or role model in a flat person--but you can find that and more in someone who is 3D, flawed, imperfect.
Posted by: Keshet | 06/10/2010 at 02:34 PM
Thank you for this post. Really, thank you. I especially love what you said about not wearing Anthropologie every day... a lot of other bloggers - all of whom I love and am totally inspired by, don't get me wrong! - look like their entire lives were designed by the people who do the Anthropologie catalogs. Whether it's really their life or just a facade, it does make me feel a little bad about my newly married, can't pay my bills, not enough money for kids, need a better job life. I KNOW it's nobody's intention to make me feel bad about my life, but I agree with where you're coming from. Plus, I know most of these people work for companies and get supplies free or discounted, but I don't really want to see photos of your million-dollar scrap studio thankyouverymuch. I LOVE seeing what's new and popular and getting inspiration for how to use it and other products, and I'm so thrilled for these folks with such lovely spaces. But it gets depressing that I can't buy every new stamp set that comes out! So anyway. Just wanted to let you know you rock! :)
Posted by: Anna | 06/10/2010 at 02:42 PM
When my husband lost his job and I blogged about my real feelings about it I was judged pretty bad by someone that I thought was a friend. I was told I was a being like Eeyore negative and she would rather see the world more like Tigger positive, of course her husband still had a job. I do think most people like to see more positive things on blog’s than negative maybe because they are not happy with their own life. Telling the truth makes people look at their own lives and some do not what to do that, I feel. It was my real reality at that time and after that I didn’t feel safe again to say talk about my real feelings.
My husband did get another job took a long time but we did get through it. I don’t talk to that so called friend any longer and I don’t blog any more either. Blogs only show a part of someone’s lives the part that they want to share and mostly people don’t’ want to share the real truth. Thanks for sharing your real truth you have always been real!!
Posted by: Kim R. | 06/10/2010 at 02:46 PM
In IRL, you could be my bestie. I totally understand almost everything you said like you read my mind. I love honesty and really respect it. It isn't always easy if you feel like your life is falling apart, but honesty helps you heal. Good luck with the babies, I am a twin - you are going to have so much fun!!! Wishing you, J, the girls and the new additions all the best!
Posted by: Carollee | 06/10/2010 at 02:53 PM
Thank you Stephanie for keeping it real. I read KP's Blog last week and thought of doing the same. I think tomorrow I will make this my topic on my own Blog. Thanks for being you :) Katrina
Posted by: Katrina of Southern California | 06/10/2010 at 02:55 PM
Love this, Steph. And i'm with you. All. The. Way.
Posted by: Account Deleted | 06/10/2010 at 03:01 PM
Loved your post!
Posted by: Penelope | 06/10/2010 at 03:12 PM
This is definitely something I am going to do VERY soon.
Posted by: Kerry | 06/10/2010 at 03:15 PM
oh sister in Christ, how you just spoke the truth, and how i appreciate it.
and i'm so there. most days of my everyday world. yet, i wouldn't have it any other way, because i am home with my girls. the good and the bad. i'm here with them. nothing can replace that.
blessings,
erin
Posted by: erin | 06/10/2010 at 03:18 PM
Wait what you are not perfect??!!! oh heck now I am gonna have to stop reading your blog...only kidding.
Your honesty is the #1 reason I have you at the top of my blog lists, well that and your beautiful scrappiness! You simply amaze me. You and your imperfections are beautiful! Thanks again for sharing.
Posted by: Suezi gurzi | 06/10/2010 at 03:30 PM