facebook

hey guys! i just wanted to do another quick post tonight explaining something that happened today.

i decided to make my facebook page for friends that i had a personal relationship with, may that be "in real life" or through email/long standing online friendships.

i HATE unfriending as a. is that not the most harsh name ever??? b.i want to be friends with everyone and c.it just seems mean.

but the fact is, it was out of hand. there's no reason i should have had over 2000 FB friends.

i should have started out with a plan. i should have had a blog page from the beginning, or i should have sorted people into groups. but i didn't.2000 friends in was just too late.

my news feed was out of control. i was missing engagement announcements, birth announcements, and i was missing what was going on in my close friend's lives.

with my blog, twitter, pinterest, SOCIAL  MEDIA...it's just too much. i need something to be more private.

i could have started a new account, i could have gone through my entire list and sorted...but i chose to just delete everyone except for people i have met/know personally.

i'm sorry, i truly hope you all understand and that no one takes it personally. it is something that i wanted to do and that jimmy has thought i should do for some time now.

i adore you all and i will still be sharing LOTS of photos and anecdotes here as always.

i also started a blog page on facebook. HERE IT IS. i hope you'll "like" it. if not, no hard feelings! :)

and of course i will still have twitter.

thanks for being the absolute best blog readers out there.

xxoo

s

Comments

[Kaila]

I was never your friend on FB (I think you tell us eveything on here lol!!) but I'm sure those who were will understand! I have an annoying "friend" I went to high school with that is constantly clogging my news feed (and that's only 1 person!!)

[Valerie]

Made me sad but I understand.

[Stephanie Howell]

valerie- im not trying to make anyone sad...i still have another page. i just want to have *something* that is private to me. im sorry if i unintentionally hurt your feelings.

[Ally]

I was just excited to see the new page pop up - which I of course, LIKED :) Now, I'm off to FB to stalk my daughter's page... it's been FIVE days since she updated!

[kristen]

Completely understandable and totally reasonable. Stay true to who you are, Stephanie!

[rae barthel]

makes sense to me!
i just need to ensure that my daughter will still have access to your sadie-isms and harper's 'ashion tips ;) when my Lauren (age 10 going on 25) asked me if I knew you, i told her no, that you were just another one of mommy's friends that live in my computer and that i love your wit, and sense of style, and relate (somewhat) to your Army wife lifestyle. i tell ya she is in love with your girls!!!! i think she secretly wishes she had a sister ;) xo rae barthel

[Stephanie Howell]

HA! you are so sweet! i promise i will share lots of both on my blog page!

[JenniferSanborn]

I closed my original FB account, changed my FB screen name and opened a new one for similar reasons. Now I'm completely hidden from old contacts and it's a good feeling. Enjoy your private space!! :)

[Stacey]

I do not know how facebook works, I just read your blog. I hope you continue your blog because I enjoy it so much!! I had to laugh when you said your husband agreed with you about facebook. My husband knows nothing about facebook (nor do I), so I think it is cute that your husband understands.

[Michelle (from KY)]

I totally get that! It can out of control, right? I had a bunch of 'FB friends' that I had no desire to keep in touch with, really. People who went to my high school, but never really knew, friends of friends I don't actually know, and kids I used to work with. It does sound harsh, but I would love to run into them in real life, but I dont necessarily need them to see my vacation pictures or play them in Farmville....ha!

I love your blog, and I feel lucky that you share what you do with us. Have a great weekend!

[Leah]

Totally get it! I only have 100 or so friends and I need to do the same things. No reason for people I don't know to have access to pics of my kids. Good for you. PS - I've already 'like'd your new page.

[Lynn]

Makes absolute perfect sense!

[Kirsten J]

Okay, girlfriend (and if you're ever stationed in Washington...we WILL meet face to face and know each other personally), here's my FB story, and why I wouldn't touch it with a 10 foot pole. My little sister has a Facebook and is all "it's so cool, I just got reacquainted with our cousin from Norway who came for that summer in 1983..." and then....she got a friend request or whateveryoucallit and recognized the name from junior high. And so yay! another friend to "meet up with". And. This girl apparently had a vendetta against my sister, because she visited her (*page*???) and found all of these pictures from high school, when they weren't even friends and went to different schools. Bad, unflattering, drunken shots and captions poking fun at my sister's hairstyles and the guys she was with. Really? I don't want to revisit some of those early years and that scared me off for good. So there :P

[Mary Jo]

I totally get you! I actually have felt weird lately being "friends" with some of the people on my list that I just don't really know. And I am talking people from grade school that I didn't even really know then, but friended them when they asked. i felt bad saying no. And every time i go to unfriend someone I find myself feeling bad about that. But I think I just need to get over it!

I have no where near the amount of friends you did, but I sometimes feel it is a little out of hand :)

[Annie]

As I said on your FB page. I understand completely! I'm glad you made a fan page for your blog. I'll still get updates on my FB page and that'll be cool. :-)

[Kerryn]

You're sweet to explain your reason and I completely understand where you are coming from. Sometimes not everything needs to be shared with everyone :).

Will have to go and like that blog page :).

[Stefanie]

I did the exact same thing a few months ago.
Don't blame you at all, we all need to check our boundaries continually.

[Asha]

I completely understand!!! I want to do the same thing. I had people from high school friend request me and I felt obligated to accept and now I have a bunch of friends I don't want. They don't comment on my stuff and I don't comment on theirs, it's all so awkward and ridiculous. I love my husband's friend list...he narrowed his down to 44! I love that. I think he's being true to himself and not caring what his number is like a lot of people I know.

[Pidgen]

I won't join Facebook for the exact reasons you stared here ... and I think it's awesome that I'm not the only person who a. would only friend real-life/longstanding friends b. thinks the term "unfriending" is just rediculously mean. Way to go for being more "real". :)

[Pidgen]

he he ... the exact "reasons you stated" ... I need some coffee!

[Rachel S]

facebook is a little weird for me too. i friended one person and the flood gates from high school opened. I barely remember most of them. I just ignored their request. i really don't want to go there. don't blame you one bit!

[Sharon Osborn]

Good for you Stephanie! Boundary setting is hard-but so very healthy! Something I didn't learn until my 40's...way to start the process now ;)

[virginia]

good for you - i totally get where you're coming from...i even left fb alltogether for a while b/c i had too many people on there that i just didn't really know...like people who i had gone to hs with but had had maybe oh i don't know 2 conversations with when i was 16...just not personal reltionships...so i am back on now but with a much smaller group of people - and i love it now!

[courtney]

I think it's a great idea! I always felt a little weird being your friend on FB, but not actually "knowing" you. Totally makes sense and I love the new FB blog page!

[Lori Gentile]

Steph, I think you are so smart to do this. I have been battling my desire to do the same. I miss out on so much of my real friends posts/announcements and I don't feel comfortable posting really personal stuff (kids school stuff, community events, etc). Someone just posted my kid's picture in some app and there is nothing I can do about it. Why would you share a picture that's not yours? It would be so great to have a personal (I truly know you) fb account and then one for my crafty/scrappy fb friends. Good for you! You gave me something to think about. I admire your initiative.

[Dawn F.]

And I thought I was the only one that wasn't on facebook! Many of the reasons stated are the reasons why I have resisted. Though I wanted to join pinterest and then when I got invited, I have to go through facebook. So none of that for me. I love your blog and will always check it regularly. Thanks so much.

[Patricia10]

First of all, there IS a reason why you'd attract over 2,00 friends--you're just that nice.

But I do agree with your decision to make your acct more personal. I can't believe some of the stuff that is shared for everyone to see. TMI!

[Laurie]

so totally understandable...i get people requesting to be friends on fb too, people I don't really know, it can get crazy, so I don't blame you for wanting to scale down...how the heck would you keep up with 2000 friends...enjoy your weekend. :)

[Emma Hernandez]

Stephanie, I sent you a friend request on FB and you accepted me, I was sooo happy. I have commented on here a couple of times and on your FB as well (I think). Although a bit sad I was deleted, I completely understand, I really do. I feel you did the right thing. Although I have nowhere near 2000 friends, I do have friends that I don't even know how they got on my friend list and I have/will delete some for that same reason. Please don't feel bad girl!!
Also, I follow you on Instagram, I hope you don't mind. I want to comment on your pics, but I don't want you to think "who is this crazy lady"? HAHAHA! You are an amazing & inspiring person. You introduced me to Studio Calico, I love your scrapbooking style and I think you are an awesome mom. I love the fact that you are also a military wife and that you love God.
Have a great weekend :)

[Candace Bunch]

Good point!

[Alissa]

Good for you...social media is a little out of control!!! I do not fb and my life seems to be a lot easier then others...I don't know how people have time to do anything else but fb???? Have a super dooper weekend!!!!!

[Lisa Day]

I was thinking this exact thing the other day. For the exact reason you said! I am just too afraid of hurting people's feelings. Especially students. Man I really want to though. Thanks for being a great role model! Sorry we aren't friends anymore but I totally get it!

[Dolly]

Having some privacy is not uncalled for. I keep my Facebook account for family and good friends both from childhood and my adult life. I can only imagine with 2000 "friends" it would be chaotic to even try and read your wall LOL! I love your blog and your twitterisms :o) and will be perfectly happy to continue following you here.

[Keshet]

I'm glad you're feeling good about your decision:) I don't really do facebook that much, but it can get overwhelming, I'm sure.

[Michelle K]

I can't imagine having that many FB friends...I tend to "weed out" my list every time I hit 200. In this day and age where everyone wants to know everything about everybody, it gets tough to keep our lives personal and private. I think your decision is a great one. The blog is plenty for all of us to keep following on the journey you are so graciously willing to share with us. More power to you ;)

[JoLynn]

Stephanie, you can do a fan page on Facebook, if you still want people to keep up with you that way. I became "friends" with Cathy Zielske, and the same thing happened to her. She created a fan page to handle the craziness.

I stand firm: Facebook makes us all feel and act like we are in junior high school. Though I read your blog, and I think your girls are adorable, and I know things about you, WE ARE NOT FRIENDS. And I don't mean that in a mean way at all. I get to view things you are generous enough to share, but you have the right to your private life as well.

There have been some "unfriendings" in my own family that have been hurtful and confusing. Facebook is a dangerous weapon sometimes, too. Paring it down to your closest people is the right thing to do.

[Ally White]

You are amazing!! How you find time to do all this baffles me. You are my Superwoman!

[MeghanR]

100% understandable

[berta]

I certainly understand and you were not even my fb friend :) I just enjoy your blog and the scrappy stuff you post and the very meaningful things you write about being a mom, a wife, and army wife. As long as you still post on your blog, all is ok!

[berta]

Oh, and I forgot to add, I will follow your blog as long as you post about your milk glass collection. I have a similar obsession for milk glass ;-)

[Davinie]

You are SO smart, m'dear. Smart smart smart.

[Amber Zimmerman]

Completely understand! Following your blog fb page now. My mom is an author and has over 2000 fans too. . .she even has a dog that is a fan. Lol! Can you imagine having a "dog" post things on your wall? :)