perspective

sign from fisher kids

 

it might seem strange that the real housewives franchise got me thinking.

well, it always makes me think "are you kidding me?"

the women on that show are the epitome of tacky. foul-mouthed, gossipy, selfish, narcissistic, co-dependent.

wow, can you tell i have strong feelings on this? ha!

really...i've been watching this show for years and i don't know why. i suppose it's a good escape. a guilty pleasure.

but it's gotten to the point that i can't watch because it's sad. they really need some perspective.

and this is what really got me thinking.

i need some perspective too. my girls do as well.

there are bigger, more important things in this life than begging for a toy at target in the dollar spot. or tattling on each other. or fighting over who's turn it is to sit in the front of the bathtub.

there are more important things than me worrying about how dirty my house is. or caring about what other people say to me. there are bigger things than me wanting to get in shape.or getting caught up in worrying about j.

there are people out there who are sick. who have nothing. people who are lonely. people who don't have anyone to love them...see that's the thing. i have someone to love me. he's gone, but i have him. so many people don't.

yesterday i decided the howell girls need some perspective.

so i called around, and next week we are going to start volunteering.

i think it's high time i teach my girls how to serve others. and how to serve our community.

once a week we will be helping others in some way.

here's what we have so far.

- making drawings and cards for the elderly

- delivering meals on wheels

- sterling rides- taking the elderly to grocery shop or run errands (yes, i'm crazy. but there's room in the minivan for one more person, so why not?)

-friday night bingo at a nursing home here in town

-contributing to the local food pantry

-arts and crafts at a senior center (do you see a theme here, i think the elderly would LOVE my girls and vice versa).

clearly there are lots more options, but this is what we have so far. having four kiddos under 6 greatly minimizes what we can do. ha!

 

i'm hoping this will teach us all to be grateful for what we have. i'm thinking this is a good thing. and i'm wondering why we didn't do this much sooner?

i know why- b/c sometimes i don't look beyond me. beyond us.

here's to changing that.

xxo

s

Comments

[Mary Jo]

I love this idea, Steph! I have been thinking what I could do with the kids this summer. And since Evan goes to a Catholic school, a summer service project is recommended. I definitely think we could use a few of the ideas you suggested!

[Laura Gonzalez]

I think those are some awesome ideas! And I agree with everything you said. I think once in a while, we all get caught up in "us", but you're completely right...there ARE bigger things. Thanks for the reminder! :)

[Linda E]

What a wonderful idea, Stephanie! Good for you!

[nicole]

perspective is a very funny thing. sometimes i get myself caught up in it as well. we moved on the 1st and our new place is a disaster with boxes everywhere. I was freaking out a bit last night but checked up since our place is a mess, but there are people an hour away who lost their homes to tornados. tornados in MA! even more stunning.

enjoy your volunteering!

[diana]

Great idea! Sounds like such a win-win situation for both you & your girls and the people you will meet. Lucky Savannah seniors and lucky little chicks! ;-)

[krys72599]

What a great mom you are - your girls are at the perfect age to learn about helping others. It will become 2nd nature to them - I think we should all look to do something for someone else... I know I will...

[Stacy D]

Great post, Stephanie. There are a lot of us that could use some perspective- myself and my kiddos included. Way to make us all stop and think!

Also, just wanted to let you know that I think you're an awesome momma. You're raising girls that will be amazing, compassionate, beautiful (inside and out) women one day!

[Bea Monforte]

Hey, this is a great idea! I think never is too early to see there are diferent people and situations and begining to love others :)
I wish you a lot of lovely memories.

[mie1971]

wow, you are awesome. these are things i think about often but somehow never do. i make excuses like:need to tend to my boy, work, doctors appts, cleaning house, etc...
the elderly will be so grateful for you and your girls. it will brighten their day, give them something to look forward to, or just make them smile. thank you, for giving the world 4 more well adjusted, smart, sensitive, kind people. (your girls) you teach them well.

[Megan]

What a great idea and experience for you and your girls. I am looking forward to hear all about them :) Happy Friday xoxo

[Jen]

this is SO great! way to go, Mommy! :)
this is a very good thing.

[tara pakosta]

You are awesome to start this now!
I have been wanting to for years and just never did it.
Part of the reason is all the places I want to volunteer scare Savannah so much. She is scared of old people and sick people. While I know she needs to be exposed to them to get over it, I don't want to torment her either. Even when her daddy was burned on his face, she would NOT go near him! It freaked her out so much she stayed at the neighbors most of the time (and she never stays away from me EVER)...I think taking an elderly person grocery shopping would be a good start for me! How do you find the people that need helP???!
LOVE the MOTTO! it's perfect!!
p.s. I LOVE HOUSEWIVES too, but yesterday SOnja made me sick in the after thing where she had no idea what Joplin was!!!! that women needs a slap!
tara

[Stephanie Howell]

Wait what? I only watched part of the after show. What did she say?????? What a jerk!

Sent from my iPhone

[Dolly]

As the niece of a 88 year old aunt that is a shut in that depends on individuals with generous hearts like yourself, I thank you. I will keep saying it, Stephanie Howell you are grace personified.

[Shannon]

I agree, the show is insane. What a great thing, teaching them so young to volunteer, to be better people, to put others first sometimes. :) Love this. I am sure the people you help will just love your girlies.

[Lisa Dickinson]

oh gosh - that last line about "looking beyond us" just got me. you are so right. love this!

[tara pakosta]

it was the after show with andy, I only watched the first part of it. There was another girl on there (not sure who, but not from housewives) and she told her she should go to Joplin to help and she was not even sure what the lady was talking about!!!! Then she acted like she knew and said, "oh I forgot about Joplin ha ha ha" and was laughing like it was funny. It made me SICK!!! Sonja is the most self-centered of them all! I really need to stop watching because they make me sick lately more than anything. I honestly think Kelly and Cyndi are the only ones that are "halfway" real!
tara

[Robyn Schaub]

Can't watch Real Housewives...they make my blood boil. But I love what you said about perspective. My kids are so spoiled. And I like that they CAN be spoiled (i.e., we can give them things they want). But once in a while, they need a little perspective. Thanks for planting the seed in my mind.

[Pidgen]

This was such a great lighthearted yet serious post! Love it ... makes me think about some of the things I could be doing with my girls when schools out! Thanks!

[young c-m]

Sounds great! Just don't overdo it. :)

[Noelle]

I started a charity jar 2 weeks before I was laid off. The idea was that hubby and I would put $5 each from our allowances into it...and eventually the baby would contribute when she's old enough. The money in the jar would be used for charity things. I had planned to use that to buy things to contribute when my employer did the food pantry drive (so much for that). Now I've gone back to my original stance...we'll donate in some way to animal charities. For years I have taken the stance that the majority of people give to human charities and therefore I will only give to animal charities. I step away from that from time to time if it's related to helping kids...but mostly, I stick to it. I want to teach the baby that we share this world with these creatures and must protect them from the negatives in the human race. It's why I've adopted 5 cats and 1 dog from rescues rather than breeders. (2 cats passed away before I adopted 2 more...I only have 3 total.)

[Stephanie Howell]

I dont consider once a week overdoing it, but to be honest Im not sure its possible to overdo kindness. Helps us pass the time until j is home. :)

Sent from my iPhone

[Stephanie Howell]

Thats wonderful! Harper is highly allergic to cats and dogs so thats not an option for us. :(

Sent from my iPhone

[Jennifer Chapin]

Stephanie - I am a nurse and used to work in a nursing home some years back, and I can tell you right now the residents will LOVE your girls! They will just light up - it will be such a breath of fresh air for them. I have thought about doing this with my daughter too when she gets a bit older, maybe taking a basket of homemade cards and cookies and passing them out ;)

[ACompton]

my husband and i were just talking about this topic! we want our children to know that people out there are suffering, but more than just know it, we want them to elevate the suffering, even if just for a few moments. we're so worried about our children becoming self-absorbed teenagers (eeeek!) so having a wider perspective can really help draw them out of themselves and the bubbles we all create for ourselves.

also, i laughed. my two children fight over who gets to sit in the front of the bathtub too. haha.

[Sky]

What a good idea! I hope to find a way to volunteer in my community soon :-)

[Laurie]

I am going to have my teenage son read your post after school, he was ranting and raving about not having his "own" celebration dinner to celebrate his 8th grade graduation, his sister is also graduating from the 5th grade, so I said we'd go out together all at once, easier on the wallet...he got really mad, said he wouldn't share his "moment" with his sister...yikes!! teens..ack! thanks for this post, maybe it'll help :)

[Jackee]

What an awesome idea/person you are! I wholeheartedly agree with you. Your suggestions are FANTASTIC. Having recently placed my aging mom into assisted living, I just want to add, working with the aging is so very rewarding. They appreciate any tiny gesture that you may take for granted. For instance while my mom was a shut in and I am working full time, her social skills began to deteriorate as did her ambulation. She was afraid to get her mail, but worried constantly that someone may tamper with it. It became such a CHORE to find someone to bring in her garbage can once a week or get her mail and take it to her door. Both very simple tasks! It doesn't take much to help out a shut in. And there are more than you think! Just ask around your church or social contacts in your neighborhood.

PS...going through my mom's things getting ready for a garage sale, if you are truly interested in Ball jars with intact lids, I'll ship em to you for free...
email me. I am constant fan of your blog and have been reading since Sadie was a baby. You are a lovely person and mother.

[Patricia10]

Just awesome.

[bethann d]

great ideas. wonderful way to teach our children and ourselves that there are more important things than what we can get for ourselves next. as a home bound person due to disability i appreciate those who are willing to pick me up so i can get groceries or go to the bank or church or the doctors.

[Debbie S.]

Total thumbs up!

[Rebecca L.]

I just went and ordered my own Grace sign! I don't have kiddos but I think we could all use some reminding about living in a state of grace!!! Thanks for sharing. We also all need to be reminded to get outside of ourselves and do things for others!

[Steph H]

You are awesome and I love you. And I know you didn't write this entry so that everyone could tell you what a kind person you are. You just are. :)

And I have an idea for your service projects! Both times AJ was admitted to Children's Hospital over the past couple of years he was given a blanket to keep from Project Linus volunteers. One was a fleece blanket with a satin trim, the other was one of those fleece tie together type blankets. It was such a very sweet gesture and I know the older kids who are admitted must really take comfort in those blankets.

So maybe you and the chickies can look into Project Linus and work on some simple blankets?

[Stephanie Howell]

This is an awesome idea. Thank you so much for the idea!

Sent from my iPhone

[Candace Bunch]

This is going to sound strange coming from a boy scout leader, but I heard a comment one time from a coach who said, 'Be careful how soon you start sports with your kids, because they will burn out before their prime.' He was correct about the sports and I am thinking it may be true of volunteering as well. We have always done a lot of volunteering before kids and with kids. My teen the Eagle scout has decided he'll do leadership but he is done with teaching little kids and done with scouting. He wants his life back. I think our lives can be viewed in stages and kids do well around ages 11 to 16 with volunteer work. And parents will also find themselves becoming professional volunteers, helping out at school, as the kids get older. No rush in volunteering I think.

[Stephanie Howell]

i agree to some degree. i dont think that teaching my girls now about how to respect and interact with seniors will burn them out. this is going to be a weekly thing until j returns (in a few months). i dont plan on drilling it into their lives and sucking the fun out of it. i think that (with anything) there needs to be a balance.
this isnt as much about working as it is about teaching them to see beyond themselves.

[rhonda nickol]

I think this is so wonderful and I love teaching at my local Senior Citzen home! Have a great weekend Stephanie!

[Sherry]

Our Cub Scout pack volunteers for "fun and games" at the local nursing center once a month. While the kids enjoy it, the seniors LOVE it.

Another idea that might work for you all ---- take cookies or baked goods or cards to local police and fire departments. What about a note to the school secretary or custodian, whom often work most of the summer?

Your gesture is heartwarming and it is sure to "rub off" on your girls. You have a huge heart.

[Barb @ getupandplay]

Wow, that is such a great perspective. The idea of taking your kids with you to volunteer is brilliant! I tend to think in black and white, as in "I could volunteer but I'd need to get a sitter" which I often do, but maybe what I need to do is think of activities that we could do together. Brilliant!

[Berta]

Stephanie, thanks for the reminder! I love that sign too1

[Val Adam]

Excellent life-choise, my dear. I have never been able to afford to donate much to charity and I decided many many years ago to donated my time (and love) instead. It's a "Habit" I have acquired. . . it's the way I live my life.
Your girls will be so grateful you taught them this and I'm betting (looking at your list of possible activities) that all of you are going to have lots of MEGA fun too!Val

[C. Rayevich]

this is such a wonderful idea. when we were little my mom helped an elderly couple clean house, run around town etc.. we all became so close and even called them grandma and grandpa. they ended up being a huge part of my childhooh & also taught us to help others.
you chickies all rock!
xo

[Diana]

Oh my gosh Stephanie,I couldn't agree with you more when it comes to the housewives shows. In my opinion it is trasha and I to think its sad for many reasons. From someone who has lot a lot this year, this show makes me grateful for the things we do have and the heart and values my sweet dd have. I wanted to share a few things with you about serving your community and hope you don't mind me doing so. There are some things that you could do very easily from home and that don't cost much. Since my dd was 2, she has been treating our "trash friends" who pick up our trach and our recycle with drinks and a snack. When her frineds spent the night and even now and she is almost 11, race to see who can get there first. It's quite a site and they come twice a week. As you know Texas can get pretty hot so they welcome the cold water and snack. I love doing this too. (When we are not out there, they slow down or stop waiting. It is really cute and we are so appreciate of what they do!) Also my daughter and her best friends make little notes with sweet messages like God loves you, Today is a gift, Life will get better, you're a great neighbor and we are blessed....and then they drop them in random mailboxes. I thought this was so cute when they came up with the idea. I can only imagine the looks on those who received them. Also we go to a retirement home/community to help with bingo, pass our treats and prizes. Older folks love kids and you can see the joy in their faces. Also my sister who has 7 kids used to take hers to the soup kitchen during the holidays to help out. It is amazing to see how giving her children are today. They also love baking for those in need. (We bake cookies for our friends at chick fil a to just to asy thank you for always being so sweet.) My younger sister who is expecting her second baby in July has always baked some kind of treats for the OBGYN office. Sometimes there are so many opportunities right in front of us if we will just look :-). Just a few of our ideas that I thought might be easy for you and your lil ones. So did you move out of Tx and if so where are you now?? will read through your comments to see if there any other great ideas that we might be able to add to our list of fun things to do for RAL (Random Acts of Love) Have a great and fun weekend friends.

[Diana]

Sorry for all the typos, I didnt check it before I sent it off and it is one of my pet peeves :-).

[Myfrogprince Lideros]

I love that sign. The message is so true :)

[Linda J]

What a wonderful post! With all you have on your plate now - you put the focus on others .... Bless You!!!
For the last 3 years I have been speading a great deal of time at nursing homes. First my father needed the care, and now my mother - and I can tell you what a wonderful light you will bring into the lives of many when you bring your daughters in to visit. They will light up everyone's day, and give a smile to so many. I have seen it first hand when children come to visit (which sadly is very rare). My own children and grandchildren are all living out of state now - so my mother has no visits from little ones, which saddens me. The family members of the place you visit will be so grateful for the gift you bring their loved one by sharing your beautiful family with them.

[joanna]

I needed to hear this, thank you. I was just thinking tonight as I put my girls to bed, the world does not revolve around us. We whine way too much when things don't go our way. I am the biggest reason my kids think they should get a toy every time we go out. I needed to hear this and to get some perspective! They need some perspective.
ps. Now I wish I would have thought of it sooner!
Take care and will be praying for you!

[Debbie]

Oh Stephanie!!! This is your best post ever! This world would have so much less pain and sorrow and loneliness and heartache if we all thought of others more! Your ideas are terrific! I feel you can never start children too early about caring for others! You are doing a wonderful job!

[Jen]

What a great idea! I think it will be so beneficial for you and the girls, and especially the people you are helping. The girls are a hoot and I'm sure the elderly will love seeing them in action.

[Christine Campbell]

Do you have any idea how wonderful a mother you are...seriously?? What you are instilling in the girls now will shape the women they become when they are our age...delivering meals or making cards for seniors might seem like something small to some but it's those memories you are making for the girls - whether you scrap them or not..that they will remember when they're 33 and thinking of you (wherever they are, wherever you are) and they will treasure that time and it will become part of their 'story', part of who they are...BEAUTIFUL!!!

[Erin R.]

Love the idea, love the post and I love the sign in the picture. Where did you get the sign?

[Kris]

Teach them when they are young....this will stay with your girls long into adulthood and motherhood! Good job mom!

[Kathy Martin]

What a brilliant idea Stephanie! And you know you will receive more than you give...it just works out that way. I can't wait to hear how these days will go! Can you imagine the senior woman's face when her 'help' arrives with four little girls in tow? Oh I wish I could be there! She might even feel useful and help you back!

I never heard of the show you mentioned, but I know the type...so unfortunate that there are so many like it! A few years ago our family stopped watching TV and we don't miss it at all! It was gradual...we didn't just decide one day to stop watching. We didn't even decide to cut back. We bought one of those DVR things to record our shows so we could watch our favorite programs on our own schedule. Anyway, before long, we had an entire season of CSI to watch and an entire season of the Amazing Race. At that point it just seemed like we enjoyed spending our time in other ways. Soon after that, we stopped paying the cable company nearly $75 a month for nothing!

[Martha]

Can I just say how much I would love to be taken on my errands by the Howell girls??? Anyone would consider themselves lucky to find a spot in your minivan! Thanks for sharing your ideas and your perspective...

[sharron]

awesome idea!
i have worked and helped with many seniors. and it is very rewarding. so many people do not realize how enriching our elderly population can be! they have so mush to offer and so much to share of things that are a lost art.
just be very careful with your girls and babies as MRSA is very rampant in nursing homes and the elderly.

[Allison Ferguson]

Stephanie- I have to admit I watch the hosewives...every single one of them. I totally understand what you are saying. What an awesome idea. I might have to look into that myself for my kids. You are such an AWESOME role model for your girls. God blessed you with 4 beautiful, healthy girls because he knew that you could give it your all! I commend you for always being so positive and uplifting. I love reading your daily blog posts. You never cease to inspire me!

[Linnea]

Beautiful. Grace is what matters! It's great to hear that you're getting your little girls involved in service so early.

[Elizabeth M]

When the girls are a little bit older see if you can find a homeless shelter to cook food at for a night and then talk to the people eating there. That was one of the best things my mom ever did with me and my sister:)

[andrea g.]

your BEST blog post EVAH! we are thinking the same things and have been discussing it as a family. TFS!!!!

[Account Deleted]

AMEN. The JOY of giving is huge. Your children won't have to 'do' anything but be children with the elderly, just seeing them will brighten their day.
There should be a lunch room where the mobile residents gather. Sit one at each table and you will cover many lives. Blessings abound when you give. maggieb!

[Sonya R]

You are one amazing woman! I subscribe to many blogs, but yours is the one I look forward to reading the most!

[Kathryn]

Great idea! My grandmother & her best friend delivered Meals on Wheels for YEARS and when I used to go with them. I loved it!