so, looking back, it appears i unintentionally skipped a month. oops! sorry y'all...i guess life got in the way. :)
a reminder- blog your heart is whatever you want it to be (silly,humorous,dark,sarcastic,angry,happy)...as long as it's authentic. no trying to look perfect, no saying what you think others want to hear.
no judging.
so, in no particular order, here's my heart this month.
1. i'm worried a little bit about our time in rhode island. i've never spent a year with jimmy home every day. i'm worried i'll learn to depend on him too much. i'm worried i'll resent him and the army when we have to go back to the real world. i'm worried i won't be as good of a parent with him to depend on.
2. i need to work on my scrapbooking. i read kelly purkey's blog post this morning and part of it spoke to me. i'm tired of feeling like scrapbooking is my job. guess what? it's NOT. it neither qualifies as a full time or part time job.
it's a hobby. i have loved it for seven years and lately it's lost its luster. time to play again. time to get passionate again. time to stop caring if i'm doing what i'm supposed to be doing. time to get back to me. i am going to make things i'm proud of again. learn some techniques. put my heart back into my pages. i want to make things i'll treasure, not things i'm getting done just to get them done.
conversly, i do the design teams to share what i LOVE and to inspire. it might not be a full time or part time job but it IS my job to inspire. it's not happening lately. i am going to work on it. try harder. work harder. this year i will get back to loving (and having FUN) creating.
3.i am done having babies. this both terrifies and exhilarates me. last night we sat next to a family with four children (probably 9 to 16 or so). they were having a family dinner. with conversation. and laughter. no crayons or potty breaks. i am ready to grow together. i am ready for new stages. but i will miss babies so much...in such an intense way. i can't even type it out here or do that feeling justice so i won't try.
4.i need to get back to the gym. and back to taking care of myself. there. i said it.
5.i am so in love with my husband. more so every day. some days we irritate each other. some days we barely see each other except in passing and some days that's okay b/c i need to be independent. but i love him so much it makes my heart hurt. he is every bit the man i dreamed i'd marry one day (but never dared to think such a guy was real). he's brave and handsome. flawed but he is perfect to me.
6.i am ready for the girls to go back to school this week. i love them so much and love having them home, but i think we are all sick of one another. HA! sadie and harper are fighting so much. we need a break. when we have a break a few hours a day, it makes our time together so much sweeter.
7.i am content. but at the same time there is much i want to learn, see, and do this year. i want to take better care of myself. make more of an effort with the way i look. make more of an effort with my heart, with my spiritual growth. but with every passing year, i feel more of a peace in my heart. more of a stilness. more of a "this is me" and "this is where i'm supposed to be".
there's more i could say...always more. :) but i think i'll stop there.
if you blog your heart, please link me. feel free to use my icon and link back. :) i have read and commented on each and every post every month i do this. and i always will.
love to you all, and happy 2012~ xoxo
I can't wait to start this in the new year. This was a rough year for me so I didnt want to get that raw with my personal life... crap most close people around me don't even know what I was going through. I am going to try to be a bit more brave and document this every month in 2012
Posted by: nicole | 12/31/2011 at 08:04 AM
Hugs and prayers to you, Nicole, and wishing 2012 is a better year for you.
Posted by: Sherry Cartwright | 12/31/2011 at 08:16 AM
im sorry to hear this nicole. hope 2012 is better and brighter.
Sent from my iPad
Posted by: Stephanie Howell | 12/31/2011 at 08:18 AM
Aaaaaaah, I think I know the feeling you have about being the last of babies. Awhile after I had my daughter, the feeling set within myself. We are in a different stage [she is 7; her brother 9] in their lives where they are a little bit more independent and personalities are shining --- and I love it!
Hugs to you, Stephanie, and lots of happy wishes to you and your family in 2012.
Posted by: Sherry Cartwright | 12/31/2011 at 08:19 AM
And, I can't wait to see your scrapbooking this year. With your commitment to get creative and play, I am sure it will be inspiring. Love your style.
Posted by: Sherry Cartwright | 12/31/2011 at 08:20 AM
I always love when I read your blog and you remind me to blog my heart. Thanks Stephanie!
Happy New Year to you and your family!
Posted by: sue | 12/31/2011 at 08:55 AM
Love reading your posts--always so honest and real. Looking forward to your new creative endeavors. Happy New Year to you and your beautiful family.
Posted by: Susan bourgeois | 12/31/2011 at 09:34 AM
love your blog your heart posts =) I just read kp's blog right before this post & she hit home with me too. It lite a fire for me =)
I just wanted to tell you that I think you are inspiring & I love how real & timeless you & your art work are.
xo
p.s. i'm a 2nd child of a family of 4 kids & I can tell you... It's crazy & wonderful. =)
-happy new years friend!
Posted by: christina rayevich | 12/31/2011 at 10:23 AM
You know, Stephanie, I think of number one whenever my husband comes back from a job (the most recent was Canada for four months). And he is back now with us full time except for the office for the next five months or so. But I find that I am more and more wanting to do things myself and not "depend" on him because I know that right now we are just in a happy together place. But eventually he is going to be called away again and that next job is three years! So I know you will be just fine! You are seriously so inspirational to me whenever I am feeling a little down about the fact that my husband is gone so much. And I just think to myself that I can do this! And I have :)
I haven't blogged over the holiday at all. And have some posts to catch up on when I get back. But I think I added Blog your Heart to my list. It just may be a week or so :) I'll let you know when I do.
And Nicole - hoping 2012 is a better year for you!
Posted by: Mary Jo | 12/31/2011 at 10:25 AM
This is so lovely. And as for new and different stages in marriage and life, it all works out. I am pretty sure you know this, though. God bless!
Posted by: Marla Lynch | 12/31/2011 at 10:54 AM
Looking forward to 2012.. See what the year will bring for us. I just ordered the PL this morning! eek! first one..
enjoy a lot checking your blog and your works too.
hugs..
Happy 2012!!
Posted by: jennifer Camplin | 12/31/2011 at 10:55 AM
I have to say in response to your number 3...I have 3 girls 18, 16(just turned yikes!) and 10 years old. And the conversations are just down right hilarious! They are not shy to talk about anything and everything to both my husband and I, I love it and wouldn't have it any other way.
I do miss the baby stuff but this is just perfect also and SO MUCH FUN!!
:0)Happy New Year to you and your family!!
Posted by: Natalie | 12/31/2011 at 11:11 AM
I am so happy for you to have a year together as a family, but I also understand the fear of that year and what comes with it. Can't wait to see what the year holds for you and creativity; I've always loved your scrap booking style and find your work hugely inspiring!
I blogged my heart for the first time this month. It was scary but awesome. So thank you for the nudge!
Posted by: summer | 12/31/2011 at 11:46 AM
This month it was difficult for me to blog what has been weighing heavily on my heart. I am definitely going through alot at the moment. However, I started blogging to share my story and to remember all I have been through. Here's a link to my post...
http://agirlsfav.blogspot.com/2011/12/blog-your-heart.html
Posted by: Megan Watkins | 12/31/2011 at 11:51 AM
Ironic that I should come here and find this. Last night I had a stressful encounter with a sibling and this morning I decided that I should blog about it and put it to rest.. so I "blogged my heart" earlier.
I love that though you are one of the most inspirational scrapbookers/bloggers that I follow you are always trying to find more inspiration to share and to just be your authentic self.
Posted by: stephanie b. | 12/31/2011 at 11:58 AM
Stephanie,
YOu always inspire with your scrapbooking, whether or not you feel you do! I always love your heartfelt pages! I was right where you were about 2 years ago, I quit all my Design Teams and I have been finding my JOY in scrapbooking again and LOVING IT! I never wanted to lose my passion for it & it's just been so much fun doing it again! I really wouldn't mind being on a DT again now that I have been doing it regularly!
I hope you have a GREAT 2012` you and jimmy will figure things out as you go! I know it must be hard to go from single parent to having his help and back and forth all the time! It would be hard because the girls are used to your attention non stop and all of a sudden you have a marriage to give attention to also! You will do it though, I KNOW IT! you guys have such a great love & respect, so it will be awesome!
http://tara_pollard_pakosta.typepad.com/just_tara/2011/12/blog-your-heart.html
just blogged my heart, thanks darlin'!
tara
Posted by: tara pakosta | 12/31/2011 at 12:27 PM
You are an inspiration in more ways than you'll ever know, darlin'! Happy New Year to the beautiful Harper family.
Posted by: Elizabeth*S* | 12/31/2011 at 12:52 PM
Ok, Seriously? Harper Family?!? HOWELL! I meant HOWELL! lol
Posted by: Elizabeth*S* | 12/31/2011 at 12:53 PM
I just wanted to pop in and leave you a link I came across yesterday as I was looking at Project Life on Pinterest. I thought of it when I read your number 2 -
http://huffordhouse.blogspot.com/2011/12/why-i-do-what-i-do.html I thought this was so amazing - o how I would love to receive a gift like this;) And isn't that what we are doing by scrapbooking? Preserving all those memories for generations to come. So awesome!!! And can I just say I totally get what you are saying in number 1 - I am not as strong or good of a parent when my husb is home:( But you will do great - I know it!! Also I'm terrified for the day I have to say your number 3 outloud! I fear it'll be sooner than I'd like it to be with my health issues...I hope I can be as accepting as you seem to be. God's blessings to you all in the New Year and with the move. LOVE how inspiring you always are!!
Posted by: Janna | 12/31/2011 at 01:42 PM
Heres a link to mine. I really should do this more often! Thanks for the push in the right direction Stephanie :) http://oneandahalfcares.blogspot.com/2011/12/blog-your-heart-challenge.html
Posted by: Joanne | 12/31/2011 at 03:16 PM
Thank you for the inspiration to keep this going. I love checking out the other links as well. Happy New Year.
http://www.mommybean.net/2011/12/blog-your-heart-december-2011.html
Posted by: MommaBean | 12/31/2011 at 03:39 PM
http://fun2scrap.blogspot.com/2011/12/blog-your-hearthappy-new-year-to-you.html
I agree with you on a lot of things. I don't know what happened to my crafting this year, it was nonexistent. I also agree about No More Babies. We're not having anymore either, and it is wonderful. My youngest is now four, and I am so happy that I don't have to change diapers and all of that other stuff. I am so looking forward to watching our boys grow into men. To start new adventures, that only older children can do. It is bittersweet, but beautiful all the same. Happy New Year to you and your beautiful family. Thanks for always sharing and giving me something to look forward to at the end of my day.
Posted by: Mariah | 12/31/2011 at 05:16 PM
I can't wait to follow you on your journey in 2012. Big things are coming your way. So exciting! Happy New Year sweet friend! xoxoxo
Posted by: Davinie Fiero | 12/31/2011 at 06:24 PM
i really enjoyed reading your thoughts this month. i too am hoping to be more creative and more authentic in my crafting in 2012. i am happily anticipating a more positive 2012 for my family and i wish the same for yours.
here's a link to my post: http://studiojenn.blogspot.com/2011/12/blogging-from-heart-in-year-2011.html
Posted by: JennL | 12/31/2011 at 07:19 PM
Going to start tomorrow with a "blog my heart" just for you. :)
Happy New Year girlie!! XOXO
Posted by: Shannon Shurtleff | 12/31/2011 at 07:50 PM
Love this blog post! Thank you!
Posted by: Kim | 12/31/2011 at 08:01 PM
Hi Stephanie! I want to respond to your #1...Yes,it is a scary thing to have your husband home for a year without going anywhere...but I will have to say it is a great year and you will become dependent on him as you should, but when it is time for him to leave you will be ready and able to do it all again. I think wives of military men have a strong independence but we also have those moments where we rely on our husbands. I may not be making any sense, but I know that I cherish the time my husband is home even thought I will say from time to time " Aren't you going somewhere soon, cause I could use it?" and I say that in fun but sometimes I really think it:):) So enjoy it, rely on him, soak it all in...that's what I do and I think that makes me a stonger wife when he is gone. Happy New Year to you and your family and thank you for everything you and your husband do!!
Posted by: Jenn H | 12/31/2011 at 08:17 PM
I totally know what you mean about scrapbooking becoming a job sometimes. I finally had to resign from my DT because of just that. I love it so much and I wanted it to remain a hobby, not a job and now I have the love of it back and you will too.
Posted by: flkipper | 12/31/2011 at 08:43 PM
Wow. I can't believe it, but I accepted your challenge. Wow.
http://www.lisastein.com/2011/12/blog-your-heart.html
Posted by: Lisa | 12/31/2011 at 08:51 PM
I'm blogging my heart in my comments. ;) I LOVE the part in here about the family w/the older kids. We have two under three right now, and I want like 2-3 more!! Justin thinks I'm nuts...and I'm trying to explain to him that it won't *always* be this crazy...that someday they will all grow up, but he can't seem to see past all the insanity now. We shall see what the future brings... ;)
Happy New Year Stephanie!
Posted by: justem | 12/31/2011 at 10:33 PM
blogged my heart @ www.thekeithfam.blogspot.com
Posted by: Grace Keith | 01/01/2012 at 12:41 AM
Thanks as always for your honesty, inspiration & openess. I will try to Blog my Heart this year too ...
http://onbeingsingle.wordpress.com/2012/01/01/happy-new-year-blog-your-heart/
Happy New Year to you and your beautiful family.
Fee x
Posted by: Fee | 01/01/2012 at 02:08 AM
Aww, what a sweet picture! Look how happy your girls look, and especially at how your baby (not sure if it's Lucy or Cate) is looking at you! You can see how much she loves her mama :)
Posted by: Amber | 01/01/2012 at 02:26 AM
Thanks for sharing. I have never done this before but decided to join in.
http://www.deb-a.blogspot.com/2012/01/blog-your-heart-challenge.html
Love your scrapbooking but it's so important to do it for you and your family. That photo is just gorgeous. Take care xx
Posted by: Deb | 01/01/2012 at 06:39 AM
I love how honest you are, that's inspiring in itself. I don't think I fully understand what this post is, just anything you have in your heart this month? I will ponder it and get back to you :) xx
Posted by: Stacey | 01/01/2012 at 07:05 AM
Bonne année 2012 à toi, ton mari et tes adorables petites filles.
J'adore cette photo...
Bises
Posted by: Sophie | 01/01/2012 at 08:31 AM
I understand what you mean about scrapbooking feeling like a job. I was there a couple of years ago. I no longer was loving my hobby - I had lost my passion. I resigned from the DT, stopped teaching classes & doing store displays & started to scrap just for me again. I don't blog(although I may start),submit designs or post in galleries. I have been creating from my heart & loving scrapbooking again.
Posted by: ginny | 01/01/2012 at 09:20 AM
I love this series and really admire your honesty in your posts. I have loved stopping by your blog over the past few months. Happy new year to you and your family. I have joined along here:
http://creatingpaperdreams.blogspot.com/2012/01/hello-2012.html
Abi xxx
Posted by: Abi | 01/01/2012 at 10:44 AM
Love your candor...thank you.
Posted by: Elizabeth | 01/01/2012 at 11:02 AM
Thank you for being an inspiration to me. Your honesty and love for life is infectious! This will be my first time joining here :)
http://jenniferalfonso.blogspot.com/2012/01/goodbye-2011-hello-2012.html
Posted by: Jenny A | 01/01/2012 at 11:53 AM
Thought I would play along.
http://creationsbychrista.blogspot.com/2012/01/reflection-on-2011.html
Posted by: Christa | 01/01/2012 at 12:39 PM
Thank you, Stephanie, for being you - honest, sweet, quirky, friendly.
Reading your blog, "spying" on your girls, and seeing what you create make this blog one of my favorite places.
Posted by: Barb | 01/01/2012 at 01:36 PM
This is one of my favorite posts you do. I missed it last month (though I did my own on my blog) and I'm glad you did it again now. I understand about how crazy life can get, especially with the little ones. Thank you for sharing your heart!
http://familyresemblance.blogspot.com/2012/01/blog-your-heart.html
Posted by: Charity | 01/01/2012 at 05:18 PM
Love this post so much:)
Posted by: Keshet Shenkar Starr | 01/01/2012 at 06:42 PM
I've been a fan of your blog for a long time :) Love the "Blog Your Heart" challenge & decided to have a go at it :) Thanks!!
http://julie-bonner.blogspot.com/2012/01/sunday.html
Posted by: Julie | 01/01/2012 at 08:42 PM
Thanks for wearing your blog heart on your sleeve! I always love your honesty. You've inspired me to take on this challenge. Here's my post: http://eterno-lyyours.blogspot.com/2012/01/blog-your-heartone-little-word.html
Posted by: Linda E | 01/01/2012 at 10:41 PM
http://avinashhecker.blogspot.com/2012/01/be.html
thanks for the challenge Stephanie. It feels good to post it.
Posted by: Niru | 01/01/2012 at 11:17 PM
we have two little ones, and I want more too! It has to get easier right??
Posted by: Niru | 01/01/2012 at 11:20 PM
Hey Stephanie,
It's been great to get to know more about you, your family and seeing your work here. You've inspired me to join in and let it all out. I hope you and your crew have a perfect 2012 and enjoy every moment. You deserve it and can do it!
It's been fun chatting on twitter and just being crafty mom friends. You're awesome sweets.
http://www.latricemurphy.blogspot.com
Posted by: Latrice | 01/02/2012 at 12:42 AM
I blogged my heart once more, check it out :)
laurielariviere.blogspot.com
Posted by: laurie lariviere | 01/02/2012 at 11:04 AM
I must say this is very therapeutic (and scary!), but I am glad that I did it...
Here is mine:
http://scrapmyworld-dawn.blogspot.com/2012/01/blog-your-heart.html
Posted by: Dawn Tavela | 01/02/2012 at 11:11 AM
Stephanie, I love this, this is the first time I have participated, I'm looking forward to doing this monthly now.
LOVE YOUR BLOG. LONG TIME READER!!!
http://whiteconvertible.blogspot.com/2012/01/blog-your-heart.html
Posted by: Natalie | 01/02/2012 at 02:43 PM
Why is blogging the heart so uncomfortable? Maybe Its just me. :) I was inspired by you to do it - its done! Thanks Stephanie!
Posted by: Leigh Erin | 01/02/2012 at 08:00 PM
Ok, Did it again!! I blogged my heart.
Love your blog and enjoy reading you posts! Thank you for the challenged once again!
http://amypreslar.blogspot.com/
Posted by: Amy P. | 01/02/2012 at 09:53 PM
I absolutely love your challenge to blog your heart. Hopefully I can play along very soon. But I just wanted to say congrats on the move to Rhode Island!!! My husband is in the Navy and we moved out to Newport this past September from California. There is an amazing network of military wives here and I think you'll really enjoy it! I even found a group that does monthly scrapping crops! It goes without saying that if you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask but I'm sure you already have an arsenal of people with lots of excellent advice. But just in case, here is another. :)
Posted by: Van | 01/03/2012 at 01:04 AM
I love these prompts... hopefully I'll be able to follow through this year with them. It's such a great snapshot to be able to look back and see what was going on.
http://scrappingreilly.blogspot.com/2012/01/blog-your-heart.html
Posted by: jennybean | 01/03/2012 at 11:08 AM
I loved reading this post!!! And thanks for doing this blog your heart challenges! I just realized that I haven't even blogged since the last time I did a blog your heart challenge! So, thanks for making me write! Happy New Year to you and yours!
http://tandcbrockfamily.blogspot.com/2012/01/goodbye-2011-hello-2012.html
Posted by: corey | 01/03/2012 at 02:09 PM
I loved this. I participated =). A little late but here you go! http://tiffanyharperonline.com/2012/01/04/blog-your-heart-january/
Posted by: Tiffany | 01/04/2012 at 06:05 PM
I think I understand your concerns about having your husband at home and how that will change things. My husband traveled quite a bit for good part of our marriage. My two cents is that you continue to cherish every day with him and be quick to forgive and receive forgiveness....I too love my husband so very much and we grew through those seasons when he was home for longer periods of time.
Posted by: Laura | 01/08/2012 at 04:26 PM
I blogged all that's been weighing on my heart. Hope my link actually works this month. http://www.juleshollis.com/2012/01/blog-your-heart-january.html
Thanks for the challenge.
Posted by: Jules Hollis | 01/10/2012 at 09:44 PM
Finally I was able to put all my thought sdown. Thank you for doing this. This is so do-able and hopefully will be a treasure to my family in the years to come.
http://nwandersonfamily.blogspot.com/2012/01/blog-my-heart.html
Posted by: Amy A. | 01/12/2012 at 03:03 PM
Hi,
I turn in my contribution super late, but it's there. On my blog. Happy New Year and thanks for this challenge. Cheers, Sab.
Posted by: Sabbyscrap | 01/22/2012 at 01:32 PM
With a link to my blog, it'll work better ;-):
http://sabbyscrap.canalblog.com/
Posted by: Sabbyscrap | 01/22/2012 at 02:39 PM