she shines

she got in the car yesterday full of joy and stories.

she talked and talked. about art,about reading,about a song she is singing in her classroom. she talked about snack,lunch,what she was wearing, what her friends were wearing,she talked about math.

i said what about recess harper? who did you play with?

and there was silence from the back seat. so i asked again. i noticed she was looking out the window.

i gently asked her one last time. she looked at me and said

promise me you won't feel sad for me mama?

i gulped. and promised.

she said i didn't play with anyone. i played alone. i've been playing alone since yesterday. (they have 2 recess times a day by the way)

so i asked her why. and she told me.

the girls had been chasing the boys, calling them ugly names,and throwing wood chips at them. she said she knew it was wrong and it made her tummy feel yucky to think about acting like that, so she played alone.

all alone harper? were you the only one?

yes mommy. the only one. but i don't mind. i didn't want to be part of that so i used my imagination by myself.

 

apparently the class (except h) got in trouble when they came back in and the teacher talked to them about treating each other in an unkind way.

but my girl? well she had the guts to stand up and say no...and to not do something that everyone else was doing.

you know what? i wasn't ever brave enough to do that. i usually went along with everyone else (and felt HORRIBLE and guilty while i was doing it).

she's becoming the girl i pray she will be. and it gives me so much joy and so much pride to see her stand tall and hold her ground. i know there will be harder times, i know that she will give in sometimes. but this was big for her. she just wants to be loved and takes it personally if she's not (kind of like someone else i know..ahem.).

i bought her a tiny rhinestone star necklace. this weekend i want to take her to our special spot at dunkin donuts:

and i am going to give her the necklace and tell her again how proud i am of her. and that every time she feels scared or alone or worried, she can put her hand to her throat and feel the tiny star. and it will be a reminder that she shines.that she is precious and that she is worth far more than rubies. and wood chips. :)

happy friday, y'all. i hope your weekend is beautiful and blessed!

xoxo

 

Comments

[JillT]

How proud you must be. . .and what a great response/surprise you have planned

[Caroline]

This brought tears to my eyes. You are definitely doing something right as a mama. I pray that my little ones will have the strength, character and compassion to act like this as they grow.

[Catie]

She rocks--and you are obviously doing things right, mama! We are going to the ranch this weekend and I will miss miss MISS having you guys there! Sigh...one of these years--or we'll meet up in NY!
xoxo

[Stephanie Howell]

aw man. this hurts my heart. i miss you guys SO much!!!

[Jody]

"Promise me you won't feel sad for me Mama?" Oh my, what a special girl you have their Steph! She shines just like her Mama <3

[Ally]

Wow. You AND H. are pure gems. What a brave young lady she is.

[Ki Kruk]

this makes my heart SMILE! Way to go Harper!! xo

[Jennie]

goodness, thanks for making me tear up on a friday! :-) what a great mom you are - it is always wonderful when there is obvious proof that we are doing SOMEthing right as parents! :-)

[Peggy]

Oh, my that is so wonderful. I love that she also knew it might make you sad for her AND that she had to be asked about it. I wonder what would've come up @ the parent teacher conference if you hadn't asked that question. I hope her teacher says something to you too. Hugs and way to rock it...she didn't come by that all by herself. :)

[Freckled Fawn]

Oh Stephanie. What a sweet, sweet story. And what a sweet, sweet girl. I don't even know your little lovely but my heart is so proud of her! And so proud of you for raising such a darling.

[Lindy]

Oh my Miss Stephanie.....this actually brought tears to my eyes!!! You have such a wonderful daughter and family!

[ShellyJ]

awe. you are one good mamma :) such a proud moment.

[leslie]

ahh...happy tears! thanks for reminding us that it is hard and sometimes scary and lonely to do the right thing...Harper just gave me a pat on the back for something i am struggling with! i may be shopping for a little star necklace for myself! good job, mama!

[jennifer Camplin]

thumbs up... proud momma you are with H!!

Have a super weekend!!

[Joanne]

That story gave me chills and made me cry. Awesome....what a fabulous job you guys are doing raising a strong girl! Way to go Harper!!!!!

[photogazelle@home]

TEARS. I have real tears flowing down my face. What a wonderful little lady you are raising. You have much to be proud of. Enjoy your special date with your little STAR.

[Dawn Ritchie]

Made me cry. Such a good girl & such a good Mama. Enjoy those donuts!

[Miriam Prantner]

How amazingly wonderful. You guys are clearly doing it right. I LOVE that she knows right from wrong and acts accordingly, and I LOVE that she didn't want you to feel bad/sad. She is a star!!!

[Sherrie M]

You have a knack for writing things about your girls that brings tears to my eyes and a lump to my throat. Thanks so sharing this wonderful story. She is truly a special and strong little girl!

[Sigrun C]

oh my what a beautiful story!!! I love the fact that you bought her a star necklace that is a gorgeous idea!!!
Love it!

[Kim]

YAY FOR HARPER & MAMA!!!!! What a big girl! I was never that brave either! <3

[Mel]

Oh. My heart <3

[Pidgen]

I think your necklace idea is super cute ... but I also think it's amazing that Harper already knew that she had a 'ruby', 'star', 'shiny heart' and she acted on that all by herself. :) That's just awesome. And how mature that she wasn't going to tell you - she was doing what was right for herself and not for anyone else. Absolute sweetness!

[amy lapi]

best blog post ever. when I grow up, I want to be like harper.

[Mary R]

<3 this made me gasp. You did good momma. harper did good momma!

[Debbie]

I have never commented before but I am an avid reader. I HAD to respond to this...it brought tears to my eyes. I was bullied in junior high and to read that at your daughter's age she is strong enough to stand up for what she believes in shows what an amazing young lady she is! i know that it has to do with how she has been raised but also the fact that she "knows" and that is what is amazing! I still have a lump in my throat, I am so proud of your sweet sweet daughter. Giver her an extra hug from me will you? Love your star necklace idea....you have no idea how special you and your family is.

Hugs to you all of you!

[Shannon Shurtleff]

GAH! Now I am crying again! She is a lovely & thoughtful girl. You know who taught her that?? *YOU* Mama!! How awesome that she stuck to her (little) guns and didn't follow the crowd. I am proud for you!! ((HUGS))

[Kimber-Leigh]

what a beautiful and precious treasure of a story.

[Tracy]

Yea, so I am tearing up! You and Harper are BOTH stars. And cultivate this NOW. After the week I have had with my 11 year old daughter and a mean girl experience, I know now more strongly than ever, how important it is to keep an open dialogue with our daughters. Life is hard but Miss Harper is strong. Go Howells.

[Joanne (originalblondi)]

Ok, you just made me cry. She is beautiful inside and out. You are doing an amazing job of raising your girls, and it really shows! Can't wait to hear what she thinks of her necklace :)

[Naomi]

Such a sweet story.. Made me nervous at first but then smile with the happy ending! I want my children to shine also.. Such a good feeling when what u want ur children to be is coming true. Lots of hard work on ur part:) good job mama!

[Dena]

She's such a good girl!!! I'm super proud of her!!

[Dana]

Oh, wow, Stephanie. That made me cry. You go, Harper!

[Bea Monforte]

H is so brave and sweet. I think she is the youngest kid I've seen defending her own criteria. She is so sensible and empathic (does this word exist in English?). You're doing great!
xoxo, Bea

[kristenwelkercox]

that is so sweet and wonderful. makes us as parents feel so proud. it's overwhleming! claire used to spend a lot of time playing alone at parties and playdates and it would make ME sad that she wasn't being "normal" then one time not long ago the kids were running and chasing while calling ugly names. claire had been playing with the group for a little while which made me happy but once the wild behavior started she went off alone. i realized in that moment what makes her seem not normal to me is actually a blessing becuase she is OK being alone when needed and she knows when to leave the pack to stand up for herself. it's called independece and that's exactly what i wanted from her. it was a proud moment and good realization for me as a parent that i needed to stop wanting her to play with the "group" just so she wasn't left out. it wasn't hurting her...only me. HUGS! Love ya Steaks!

[Linda E]

Horayy, Harper! You must be bursting with pride!!!

[Tanya]

What a beautiful and inspiring post! Thank you!

[Ellie Abney]

Darn it! You made me cry again!!

[Suezi Gurzi]

Seriously that is the BEST story I have heard in a very long time! I LOVE that Harper has the guts of a Ranger at her age!! You and J have done good! She is a rockstar and you should buy yourself a star necklace as well. You deserve it too!

[Marti Richards]

Well, this just filled up my heart with such joy!! What a wonderful, kind and brave girl!

[Kelly Massman]

Way to go Harper!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here's a big hug from me! :-)

[Lara Hooper]

What a precious little girl and a beautiful story!

[k8]

Wow... Such clear-eyed, mature decision making!

[Kay Drenth]

Oh she is a special one for sure. I can only hope that some of those girls in her class, who probably felt horrible and guilty while they were following others, can look to Miss H as a shining example. You and your soldier are doing a fantastic job with those lovely girls.

[Amy Coose]

That made me so proud, so I can imagine how proud you were. What an amazing job you're doing raising those sweet girls!

[clippergirl]

Om my godness, What a girl, what a proud mama you must be....such a reflection on both you and J. The world needs more of her!

[justem]

LOVE this.
love her.
you're an awesome mom. :)

[MelissaS]

honestly, this post made me cry. You must be bursting with pride - good job, Mama! and -

Way to go, Harper! Stay true to who you are! I wish I had your courage :)

[Sonya R]

Gotta love those proud mama moments! Brought tears to my eyes!

[Meghan]

Way to go Harper! You are one amazing young lady!

[Victoria]

Aww that brought tears to my eyes. Such a gorgeous girl, what an amazing job you've done with raising her. xx

[krys72599]

Not only should you be proud of Harper, you should be proud of yourself. What a fantastic, grown-up little girl, with a BIG heart, and what a shining example her mama is for her...
Yay, Harper!
And yay, Stephanie!

[Kim]

What a sweet, sweet story!! Tearing up over here! She has such a tender heart that's for sure!!

[Kathy]

You do make a difference in her life...how very special. I know you feel so proud of her and I feel proud of you for being a great momma! Love from OKC

[Tammy Graves]

I know the pride you must feel in her...i dont even know her (other than through your blog!) and I am soooo very [roud of her! The world needs strong, courageous people like her to stand for what is right....even if you stand alone! Thanks for sharing that precious story! You and James have done such a great job! In cooperation with God, of course! Blessings!

[Jung a]

Hey steph! Kids can be so mean already. My daughter's in first grade and says a boy is teasing her about our last name. Harper's story was such an inspiration and I loved your necklace idea!

[MummaDoi]

Oh my what an awesome Momma you are to have such a beautiful little girl - inside and out!

[Shannon]

Love

[Linda]

What a wonderful child you are raising! What a wonderful Momma you are!

[Ginna G]

What a brave, beautiful girl. Sound like a strong person....just like her Dad.

Star necklace is brilliant.

[Jenni Hufford]

that little girl has the love of Jesus in her.

[Dawn W.]

Brought tears to my eyes. What an AWRSOME kid! We need more Harper's in this world for sure!

[Kristine]

You are raising a strong little girl who will be a strong middle schooler! You have every reason to be so very very proud! I teach middle school and kids can be so mean!
Well done Harper and mama!

[Ana F.]

This story is so beautiful. It made me cry. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

[Amy P.]

So sweet! Way to go Harper!!

[Stephanie Baxter]

Beautiful girl. Both inside and out. What a blessing and a credit she is to you :)

[Stephanie Howell]

this made me teary. love you!

[heather R.]

Way to go Harper!!!! Have an amazing weekend with that thought tucked under your pillow:)

[Laurel S]

Wow, what a girl you should be one proud mommy!

[Stephanie Howell]

well, she has a mama with a kind,big heart so she will be a-okay. love you,dear friend! xox

[Stephanie Howell]

debbie-thank you so much for sharing. and im so very sorry you had to endure that. i cannot TOLERATE bullying for one second. i couldnt as a teacher and i will not as a mother. big hugs and so much love- S

[Katie Perez]

Made me cry. I pray my boys will be this brave. What a proud moment for you!

[amy]

Oh, Harper, you go girl! You did better than us big girls! God bless you and your mama!!! BTW- where did the adorable horse shirt come from?

[Stephanie Howell]

target!! xoxo

[Amy K]

This brings tears to my eyes and chills down my spine. We need more Harpers in this world. You have every reason to be proud. You're raising such wonderful little girls.

[Vivian]

Tearing up a little bit here!!
Way to go Harper!!!

[Lucie Hale]

Oh my goodness, what a great post. I am so happy for you and your lovely family! Yay Harper!!!

[Vera Yates]

Wow, what an amazing girl you have, Stephanie! Her kindness and bravery to stand for what's right truly makes her shine.

[Tan Li Teng]

3 cheers to Harper.! My hero! Need to share this with my nieces and nephew. Thanks for sharing Stephanie.

[Kirsten J]

She is such a special girl. But you knew that, right? My girl found her bestie sitting behind a tree at recess in kindergarten. We moved away, but kept things going and I pray those little souls will stay connected forever. I'm hoping H will find a best friend who has been empowered by the same kind of mama!

[Laura]

Man. Tears in my eyes. Proud of your girl. Being braver than sometimes grownups are. So happy you are taking the time (with all that your life holds) to celebrate this moment with her. Good job!!

[Christine]

harper... she's just great. you must be very PROUD of her. LOVE YOUR FAMILY SO MUCH! :) xx Christine

[PJ]

Well done Harper! I wish I have your courage to stick to my beliefs instead of going with the flow. Thank you Stephanie for sharing this, Reading this really touched my heart. She is so young yet she is so so brave!

[Linda]

Can you be my mom please? Sure I might be older than you, and well, kind of creepy but, I would like a star to wear too. I too am proud of your little girl, it is so brave to stand up for what is right, and knowing she knows that at her age is an AMAZING reflection of you are a parent and the love she has at home.

[young c]

Wow, that is so, so awesome!!! Way to go mom and Harper!

[CM]

Thank you for sharing this. I'm going to read it to my seven year old son. I want him to make good choices like Harper did, if he is ever in the same situation. Thank you Harper for doing the right thing, you are a brave girl and a true leader.

[caz hancock]

that girl makes me cry, you must be so proud. love that girl

[dawn]

WOW, this is sooooo amazing and sweet!!! Thanks for the tears and smile this morning, she is just like YOU!!! Both of you can be proud!!

[Janet and Lisa]

What a wonderful caring girls she is turning out to be- YES you should be very , very proud of her. I think the necklace idea is wonderful.
Your raising a fantastic child (children)

[Dana N]

What a beautiful post. I'll say like others, it brought tears to my eyes. Way to go, Harper!! And kudos to Mommy and Daddy for raising her to be such a kind, caring soul. I love your necklace idea - she truly DOES shine!

[Pam]

What a wonderful little girl you have! I can only imagine how the two of you feel. Harper is one special little lady to be proud of!

[Susan K]

Way to go Harper!!! You have true courage! As for you Steph...it is a rare time in our child raising to actually see the fruits of our labor or to experience what we have taught our children. I love that you got to experience it...it just opens that tiny window of validation that helps to bolster us on the not so good days (and they are coming...think 15) when you question your parenting. Way to go Steph!

[Jan]

I know how proud you must be! I'm proud of her and I'm not even her mama. She's got such a pure heart. I hope it stays that way always.

[Account Deleted]

Harper, you are A-MAZING! A shining star to follow. love, auntie maggie

[Donna]

Last weekend I took my almost 19 year old daughter to university, 200 miles away. Your post made brought tears to my eyes because a friend asked me how I was feeling and my response was very similar to yours "she's becoming the girl i pray she will be. and it gives me so much joy and so much pride to see her stand tall and hold her ground". Leaving her at Uni reminded me of how I felt when she started school, about her friends and her choices. I always say that being a parent is the most difficult job in the world but the most rewarding. Thank you for sharing this very special moment with us.

[sherried]

Thanks for sharing this post. So proud of Harper and you. You're doing a great job with her.

[mrsgeek]

good job mama, you've taught her well!

[stephanie b.]

This story brought tears to my eyes! Not only does she have a big, wonderful heart she also has an incredible sense of self. It takes a strong sense of self to shun everyone to do what you know is right. You are raising such a wonderful little lady!

[Alison]

Oh Stephanie - what a wonderful thing your girl did! She should definitely be proud of herself. Kindness, thoghtfulness, and empathy are wonderful qualities to have. Especially in 1st grade!

[Janna]

HARPER YOU ARE SO SO AWESOME!!! This is so so sweet and I love that you are taking her out for a special time and telling her she shines. SO SO sweet!!!