Stephanie Howell

BYH Summer+Pregnancy Edition

Hey y'all! It's long past time for a Blog Your Heart. Here's what it's all about.

1. Blog whatever is authentic. Whatever is truly on your mind and in your heart.

2. It can be serious, silly, short, long. NOTE:No one said it has to be serious. But it should be authentic.

3. No judging allowed no snarky comments, no making fun, no passive agressive digs.If you are going to read the blogs linked below, don't be mean. Nothing here is whining, though I can't help it if you perceive it that way. It's me honestly sharing my feelings. if you feel that it's whining, then you don't have to read. :)

4. If you BYH, link back here. I'll add an Inlinkz tool at the end of the post. I always read and comment on every single post.

5. Feel free to use the graphic above. Just make sure to link back to me.

 

 

Okay, here goes.

1. I'm terrified to have baby #5. You'd think I'd know what to do by now but it feels like I'm starting all over in so many ways. I'm scared about everything, from trying a new childbirth technique to adding a 5th child. I know it will be okay, but I'm feeling really overwhelmed. At the same time... I know this baby will be loved beyond all measure and spoiled ROTTEN.

 

2. I sneezed while walking and peed my pants twice yesterday. Pregnancy is very glamorous.

 

3. We have our names picked and I love both of them so much. They are both family names. The girl name has a witty Italian connection that I love.

 

4. People keep assuming I hope it's a boy and that's just not the case.

 

5. In America, I'd be classified as advanced maternal age (I turn 38 this month)...but here in Italy they have literally never even mentioned it once. This is the age most women are having their first child.

 

apparently this is my face when jimmy is taking my picture. he probably said or did something pervy.

 

6. I really don't like hearing "Any day now!" or the worst ---> "You are about to POP!!!" I sure hope not. I'm 32 weeks pregnant. I don't know if I've said these things to pregnant women before. I sure as hell hope not, but I for sure won't ever make that mistake now.

 

7. I love that I'm having a  baby in Italy. I'm curious to see how the experience is in the Italian hospital. I have heard that they are very receptive to the mother's wishes and that they are minimally invasive. I like that lots.

 

8. My mom is coming at the end of September and that makes me so happy. Everyone needs their mom. :)

 

9. My Italian plumber calls me anguria which means watermelon in Italian. He always points at my stomach when he says it and I love it so much.

 

10. At the ultrasound yesterday the OB told me she could see lots of hair on the baby's head. This fills me with joy because all four of my girls were born with full heads of black hair and I think there is nothing cuter than a new baby with hair.

 

11. My heart is overjoyed at the thought of seeing the girls be big sisters. They are going to be SO AMAZING.

 

xoxo

S

 

 

 

An InLinkz Link-up

Blog Your Heart | January 2014 Edition

Time for the January edition!

Here are the "rules" (same as always):

eta- this is NOT just for the last 2 days in January. add your link ANY TIME before the next BYH!

1. Blog whatever is authentic. Whatever is truly on your mind and in your heart.

2. It can be serious, silly, short, long. NOTE:No one said it has to be serious. But it should be authentic.

3. No judging allowed no snarky comments, no making fun, no passive agressive digs.If you are going to read the blogs linked below, don't be mean. Nothing here is whining, though I can't help it if you perceive it that way. It's me honestly sharing my feelings. if you feel that it's whining, then you don't have to read. :)

4. If you BYH, link back here. I'll add an Inlinkz tool at the end of the post. I always read and comment on every single post.

5. Feel free to use the graphic above. Just make sure to link back to me.

As per usual, I feel the need to add a completely random picture that makes me laugh.

Okay. Here goes nothing!

 

1. I am taking Body Pump class a few times a week. I am a DISASTER. My balance is horrible, I'm awkward (note to self: do NOT look at yourself in the mirror. OMG) and shaky and week. But it feels so good to make myself do something. Even if I'm so sore the next day I can hardly walk!

 

2. I'm almost done with The Book Thief. I'm certain it's going to break my heart.

 

3. I'm starting to make some really great friends here. It feels so good to spend time with women who make me laugh really hard and who I can trust. So grateful that I'm slowly but surely finding strong friendships.

 

4. I start Italian class in a week or so. I'll be attending twice a week and I couldn't be more excited. I do NOT want to be an American that lives here and does not learn the language. I've made some Italian friends (at the coffee shop and around town) and I'm always asking them to teach me things. I think I drive them nuts, HA! But I get this crazed look when Italians start speaking in rapid fire Italian. A CRAZY huge panicked grin, teehee. Non capisco. NON CAPISCO!!!!

 

5. I really need to make a dentist appointment. But I had a really bad experience last time I went and I'm being a big weenie about it. SIGH. I need to do what I tell the girls and just suck it up. Yeah, they are army kids. Can you tell? ;)

 

6. I've been thinking a lot about whether or not I want to go back to teaching. And the truth is...I don't know. There are things about it I REALLY miss (the kids, the reading, the creativity) and things I do NOT miss at all (the red tape, parent drama,etc, etc). I find what I do right now really fulfilling. I love being a part of the creative industry.

 

7. Lately I've been letting the littles go everywhere in costume. Recent favorites? A cat halloween costume (see above), a crown, a pumpkin headband, princess dresses with cowgirl boots, wings. Some people look at me like I'm nuts. But here's the deal. They won't ever be three again. Three is magical and whimsical and I love that. So I let them wear costumes. Let them be little.

 

8. I really don't like to cook. I have gotten better at it (thanks to Gina at Skinnytaste, among others) but I still don't enjoy it. I keep thinking that one day I will love it. But no. Hmm. I feel the same way about exercising. Sigh. Non va bene.

 

9. I keep meaning to blog about our big trip but every time I look at the photos and think about what I want to say...I get overwhelmed. Hence the reason I'm blogging about something else today.

 

10. I'm finally starting to realize that it's not personal.I have an issue with taking silly things to heart. I have really been working on not taking things personally and I'm SO much happier now. Not going to say that certain things don't sting...but they sting. They don't paralyze.

 

I hope some of you will join in...or say hi if you are reading today!

 

xoxo

S

Blog Your Heart | November 2013 Edition

It has been way way WAY too long since I did one of these. I figured it was beyond time I do one!

1. blog whatever is authentic. whatever is truly on your mind and in your heart.

2. It can be serious, silly, short, long. NOTE:no one said it has to be serious. But it should be authentic.

3. No judging allowed no snarky comments, no making fun, no passive agressive digs.If you are going to read the blogs linked below, don't be mean. Nothing here is whining, though I can't help it if you perceive it that way. It's me honestly sharing my feelings. if you feel that it's whining, then you don't have to read. :)

4. If you BYH, link back here. I'll add an Inlinkz tool at the end of the post. I always read and comment on every single post.

5. Feel free to use the graphic above. Just make sure to link back to me.

6. If you are reading my blog today or if you read any of the blogs linked, please leave a comment. :)

Okay...this picture has nothing to do with the post. But I have issues with long, photo-less posts. And also, it kind of does have something to do with the post as Cate's face (on the right) perfectly describes the way I feel as I work up the courage to do a BYH post. HA!

 

Here goes.

 

 

1. I love Italy. I love being with my family every day. But I miss my friends. Terribly. There are lots of lovely women here, but I feel like I'm having a hard time getting to know them. We are all pretty spread out, location wise, and everyone is pretty busy. This is always the hardest part of moving, and truth be told...it's lonely.

 

2. I don't even believe I'm typing this, but I'm getting tired of Italian food. I know, I know. I need to be punched in the throat. But I'm getting tired of pasta and pizza. We've found a good solution. I cook our family favorites (none of the Italian ones, though) during the week so that we all crave Italian food by the weekend.

 

3. This is the time of year that I tend to get super stressed. The twins turn three on Sunday. Then Thanksgiving, then Christmas, then Jimmy's birthday on January 1. Hello, crazy season. I'm doing my best to be present this year. And knowing that we are having Thanksgiving in Florence helps. No turkey/meal/etc. to get irrationally worked up about. :)

 

4. I hired a housekeeper. For the first time ever. And it has changed my life. I really mean that. I finally allowed myself to ask for help. If you know me, that's really hard for me. I admitted I need help. And I have to tell you, it's worth it. I am so grateful for that. Why WHY did I not do this when the twins where born and I was all alone? Because I'm stubborn. That's why.

 

5. I really, really need to start exercising. Not to fit in a certain pair of jeans, not to hit a certain number on the scale. I need to start exercising because I don't feel good about myself. And that affects everything. It affects my marriage, it affects the example I'm setting for my girls.

 

6. My kids buy their lunches every day. I so wanted to be that mom. The one who made the adorable bento box lunches from Pinterest. And I tried. But the girls wanted to eat at school because apparently everyone else does...and you know how that goes. And truth be told, it makes life easier.

 

7. For the first time ever in my life, I have road rage issues. I mean...it's bad here. Motorcycles and bikes ALL OVER THE PLACE (most of them with no regard at all to cars or anyone else who might be there), horrible parking jobs (I'm talking cars that have parked perpendicularly in parallell parking spots), and me driving a car way too big for Italian life...yeah. I'm a maniac. I keep it (mostly) in my head, but I get SO WORKED UP every time I drive. Sigh.

 

8. I am unnaturally and irrationally obsessed with Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling. I have been ever since The Notebook. I have probably watched their MTV Movie Awards kiss 92384082348203842038420384 times. Y'all. It's bad. I love them. I really think they are the most wonderful couple ever. So when I read that they might be back together??? I got WAY. TOO. EXCITED. I'm a nerd.

 

9. I worry a lot about my girls in the world we live in today. I worry about someone hurting them, taking advantage of them, bullying them, and so much worse. I'm scared for them. And I pray every day that we will help them become the confident, secure, kind, brave, Godly women I want them to become.

 

10. I know that everyone else is already excited for Christmas. Music playing, trees ready to go up, decor unpacked...but I'm just not there right now. I want to work on some things this year. One of them is not getting caught up in the stuff. You know what I mean. I don't want to worry about crafting. Or advent calendars. Or getting overly creative with Turtle the elf. I don't want to buy our kids a bunch of stuff. Stuff they don't need, stuff they will stop caring about 10 minutes after they open their gifts. I want this Christmas to be intentional. And I'm thinking about how to best do that.

 

Okay...that's it. My November BYH. I sure hope you'll join in. I love, love, LOVE reading all the links.

 

xoxo

S

 

 

BYH-February

I'm long overdue for a BYH post, so today I decided to go for it.

Here are the rules, in case you are new:

1. blog whatever is authentic. whatever is truly on your mind and in your heart.

2. it can be serious, silly, short, long. note:no one said it has to be serious. but it should be authentic.

3. no judging allowed no snarky comments, no making fun, no passive agressive digs.if you are going to read the blogs linked below, don't be mean. nothing here is whining. it's me honestly sharing my feelings. if you feel that it's whining, then you don't have to read. :)

4. if you BYH, link back here. i'll add an inlinkz tool at the end of the post. i always read and comment on every single post.

5. feel free to use the graphic above. just make sure to link back to me.

Here goes.

I still wear a maternity sweater. True story. It is the most comfortable and warm thing I've ever worn in my entire life. I use it like a robe and put it on over my pajamas until I've gotten dressed for the day. Embarassing. Heidi Klum...maybe you could make a sweater that's the same, just not for Motherhood Maternity? Or I can just cut the tag out. I'll go with that. Ignorance is bliss. :)

There is a really big chance that we are moving to another country this summer. Word won't be official until April or so, but we are almost certain. But, to be honest,certainty is never certain with the Army. We are so nervous and excited. Tempo per una grande avventura. Hopefully.

I was on the "healthy eating bandwagon" for about a month and a half. And I felt so good. And then I fell off. And I've been beating myself up about it. But what I need to do is just start again. Why is it so easy to quit? Ugh.

I am so happy creatively right now. I love making pages again...it has really become a joy to me. For a long time it was a chore. And that's no good. Right now...when I make something I am grinning the entire time. I love that and I don't want it to ever go away.

I've spent a long time thinking about reintroducing sponsors. When I talked about it a few weeks ago, I caught some flak. Some of you said that I was compromising my integrity. I want to take a moment to explain that that will never ever happen.

Content will not change. I will continue to spotlight small businesses that I believe in and use regularly (with or without sponsoring me).Think of it as an extension of my "small business spotlight" series.

You know what happened when I put up the call for advertisers? I got a handful of emails from companies I love  and have consistently talked about here for years.

For those of you who really know me...you know I would never change the authenticity of this blog. This blog is my  happiness, my joy, and my therapy and will never become a flashing ad.

If that was going to happen, it probably would have already happened at some point in the past six years.

I just have to find a way to balance hobby and job.

There. Just had to get that off my chest. :)

As I type this post, the snow is swirling out side. Looks like we are getting our first true blizzard. We are well-stocked and prepared (water,wine,sleds,food) and actually very excited. Wish us luck! And Nemo?? Really? That conjures up images of a clown fish and Ellen DeGeneres. So weird.

Made the decision to start Project Life 2013. This time I am using a smaller format and going for easy and affordable.

I'm using the Simple Stories Sn@p page protectors and binders, and the cards are a mix of Paislee Press kits that I've purchased, cards I've accumulated in the past, and free downloads I've found online.

I simply could not do a 12x12 format anymore. Too cumbersome and we move too often to take all of those albums.

Here is my PL Pinterest board.

When Liz Tamanaha's project life kit comes out this spring, I plan on purchasing it. But until then, I'm on my own. :)

When Harper was a baby she was always dressed flawlessly. Hair accessories down to her shoes and socks...she was the best dressed baby/toddler ever.

Sadie was similar. A fair amount of Hanna Andersson and Boden.

The babies? Uhhhh...not so much. They stay in their footsies most days. Why? Well, first of all, they have a propensity for taking off their close and hiding them or throwing them away.

Second...it's just easier. True story.

Until the next size up (in the hand-me-down bins) comes out of the basement. Then it's like Christmas morning. Right now Cate is in cute Garnet Hill pants and a CrewCuts top. HA!

 

Okay, that's it for this month.

Hope lots of you will join in. And make sure to say hey in the comments! It's always nice to connect via comments when you put yourself out there!

Happy Friday!

xoxo

BYH-September

it's high time i do one of these. do you remember the "rules"?

1. blog whatever is authentic. whatever is truly on your mind and in your heart.

2. it can be serious, silly, short, long. note:no one said it has to be serious. but it should be authentic.

3. no judging allowed no snarky comments, no making fun, no passive agressive digs.if you are going to read the blogs linked below, don't be mean. nothing here is whining. it's me honestly sharing my feelings. if you feel that it's whining, then you don't have to read. :)

4. if you BYH, link back here. i'll add an inlinkz tool at the end of the post. i always read and comment on every single post.

5. feel free to use the graphic above. just make sure to link back to me.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

okay, here goes nothing. :)

1. i don't like facebook anymore. the petty drama, the angry political b.s. (i can't even believe i'm seeing some of the hatred that's being spewed there), the complaining...i really think i'm over it. i like being able to easily connect with friends that are all over the globe, but i think i'm done posting there for the most part. you really see people's true colors on FB, don't you? i much prefer instagram and twitter anyway. i am just disappointed with some things i've seen on FB.

♥

2.every time we move there are pros and cons. for example, i might have a great church, but not like the girls school. or i might love the city we live in, but dislike the home we are in. here? i love the city, the house, the scenery, the girls schools...but i don't have any friends. and i don't see that changing.

it's hard because i had the most AMAZING group of friends in sav. you know, you've heard me talk about them 93840238 times. i miss kerryellen. i miss all of the ladies that are still in savannah. it is different here because j is a student. no community of wives, no FRG. i feel very isolated.

it's only a year, and j is home every day...so i'm just fine. but man, my heart misses girlfriends.

♥

3.i'm a little nervous about what the future will hold. we are having to make some big decisions right now. i have learned that the future doesn't always go the way you think it will. or the way you want it to. sometimes you have to give up control...and i'm not great at that.

♥

4. i only ran a handful of times in the month of september. that makes me feel simultaneously crappy about myself...and determined to start again. i just feel like there is only time in the day for so many things.

i can't keep our home clean, take care of all four girls, be involved at school, drive the girls around town, work from home, have a healthy marriage, have the kind of relationship i want with God,scrapbook,have a blog, AND exercise. so something's got to give. and i'll tell you, that some of the things in the list above are NOT going. still figuring out how to make it work.

♥

5. we need to find a church here. we had an amazing church home in savannah and i miss it so much. i feel like a part of me is missing...this needs to be a priority.now.

♥

6.i have really perfected the art of saying "no thank you" in the past year. and i feel so much happier because of it. recently i've started saying "yes,please" to things that are really a good fit for me. things i want to do. and it's exciting. no more doing things because i'm supposed to. or because i feel like i have to. or because everyone else thinks they are the "in" things to do. what is this scrapbooking industry, junior high? of course it's not. so silly and i don't want to do that again.

♥

7.i am really happy to be doing project life again. it fulfills me in a way that i didn't know i was needing to be fulfilled. i am still in a conundrum,though. it's so MUCH. two albums a year? where the hell am i going to put all of them? that's too much. still haven't figured that one out either. but it's something i love, so i'm doing it.

♥

8.i need to get better at just letting the girls play and be loud. heck, i need to get better at actually playing with them. 

♥

9.speaking of the girls, man do they FIGHT. from the moment they wake up they fight. i.cannot.take.it. i'm about to lose my everloving mind. i've never seen anything like it. but of course, i don't have sisters. so i have no point of reference. even the babies fight! they pull each other's hair and claw/slap. dear lord have mercy on my soul.

 

okay. there's my random brain/heart dump for the month. i hope y'all will join in. just link through the inlinkz tool below.

love y'all!

xoxo

 

 

 

 

BYH-may

I had someone ask on Twitter if it was time for a Blog Your Heart (thanks Smitha!) and I realized...oh POOP- when is the last time I did a Blog Your Heart?

And I don't even know. The intent was for it to be the last day of the month but somewhere along the way I stopped doing it.

So today I'm doing it.

Here is the idea behind BYH:

1.Blog whatever is on your heart. It can be serious,silly,angry,happy,blunt,ridiculous. It can be ANYTHING but it has to be authentic (yes,there's that dang buzz word...but to be fair I've been a proponent of authenticity for a long time). The post can be long or short, doesn't matter.

 

2.No judging. No snarky comments, no making fun, no passive agressive digs. If you are goingto read the blogs linked in the comments, don't be mean.

 

3. If you play along- link in the comments. I always read and comment on every single blog and alot of you do. I've noticed a cool community of women that grows out of these posts.

 

Here goes.

1.I am getting that perturbed feeling I get leading up to Memorial Day. I'm already seeing the tweets,the ads,etc. about Memorial Day being "the kick off for summer!!!" the "biggest party" etc. I can't deal with it. I get that most people aren't in the military lifestyle. I get that. I don't expect them to be. But the blatant...I don't know miseducation? ignorance? on Memorial Day makes my stomach ache. I've made a choice that I have to stay away from the internet this year. It may sound harsh,but it's the way i feel. Memorial day is MORE than a picture of the beach and a post about the party you are going to. I'm sorry,but it is.

I get that it is a party for most. Heck,many of my amazing army wife friends are having BBQs. I am not asking people to be gloomy and depressed all day. I am not asking people to not have fun. The basic lack of awareness just makes my stomach hurt. I know this is a personal issue...it most likely always will be to me.

 

2.I fell off the TurboFire wagon.Sigh. Sick kids,migraines,laziness....I have a million excuses but the fact is I stopped. And I strongly dislike myself for it. So today I start. I'm not saying I won't lose track again...but I'm not giving in to the giving up.

 

3.I have a love/hate relationship with scrapbooking right now. I love the process (sometimes),hate what I make. It's been like that since J left. I only have time for assignments lately. I stopped Project Life completely. I have all this great stuff and I never use it. I got burned out on the competitiveness and self-promotion I saw. I am not into that and it made me lose track on WHY I create. In July my official obligations are over. I plan to get back to my roots and why I did this in the first place.

 

4.My mom comes next week. I have never been more grateful or more ready for a helping pair of hands. I've felt "on the verge" lately. On the verge of crying, screaming, saying I CAN'T DO THIS. I want to have FUN with my girls. No worry, no what should i be doing,no guilt. I am ready to play and my mom is the master of that.

 

5.This past weekend we had a senior leader's forum. I was part of a small group that had one on one conversation with Annie McChrystal and Lisa Faris (among others). It was amazing,inspiring...pinch me wonderful. We had this forum that we will never have again. A chance to ask,admit,wonder anything...and get feedback from amazing leaders. To say it was a rare gift is an understatement.

 

6.I miss blogging. I am happier and more me when I blog. I am committed to taking time for me again, getting up earlier than the girls again...and blogging. It is therapy that I need and not doing it has worn me down. It's important to me and I need to make time for it.

 

7. I LOVE my job at MME.It is great being creative and using a part of my brain for someone other than my children. It has been so good for my morale and that is something I didn't expect.

 

 

Whew- I guess I needed to do one of these posts! If you are reading today,please say hi. These are always very vulnerable posts to do, but I feel better when I do and many of you can identify.

If you BYH today, feel free to snag the graphic but (as always) link back here.

Have a beautiful day, my friends.

xoox

 

 

blog your heart {a challenge}

so, looking back, it appears i unintentionally skipped a  month. oops! sorry y'all...i guess life got in the way. :)

a reminder- blog your heart is whatever you want it to be (silly,humorous,dark,sarcastic,angry,happy)...as long as it's authentic. no trying to look perfect, no saying what you think others want to hear.

no judging.

so, in no particular order, here's my heart this month.

1. i'm worried a little bit about our time in rhode island. i've never spent a year with jimmy home every day. i'm worried i'll learn to depend on him too much. i'm worried i'll resent him and the army when we have to go back to the real world. i'm worried i won't be as good of a parent with him to depend on.

 

2. i need to work on my scrapbooking. i read kelly purkey's blog post this morning and part of it spoke to me. i'm tired of feeling like scrapbooking is my job. guess what? it's NOT. it neither qualifies as a full time or part time job.

it's a hobby. i have loved it for seven years and lately it's lost its luster. time to play again. time to get passionate again. time to stop caring if i'm doing what i'm supposed to be doing. time to get back to me. i am going to make things i'm proud of again. learn some techniques. put my heart back into my pages. i want to make things i'll treasure, not things i'm getting done just to get them done.

conversly, i do the design teams to share what i LOVE and to inspire. it might not be a full time or part time job but it IS my job to inspire. it's not happening lately. i am going to work on it. try harder. work harder. this year i will get back to loving (and having FUN) creating.

 

3.i am done having babies. this both terrifies and exhilarates me. last night we sat next to a family with four children (probably 9 to 16 or so). they were having a family dinner. with conversation. and laughter. no crayons or potty breaks. i am ready to grow together. i am ready for new stages. but i will miss babies so much...in such an intense way. i can't even type it out here or do that feeling justice so i won't try.

 

4.i need to get back to the gym. and back to taking care of myself. there. i said it.

 

5.i am so in love with my husband. more so every day. some days we irritate each other. some days we barely see each other except in passing and some days that's okay b/c i need to be independent. but i love him so much it makes my heart hurt. he is every bit the man i dreamed i'd marry one day (but never dared to think such a guy was real). he's brave and handsome. flawed but he is perfect to me.

 

6.i am ready for the girls to go back to school this week. i love them so much and love having them home, but i think we are all sick of one another. HA! sadie and harper are fighting so much. we need a break. when we have a break a few hours a day, it makes our time together so much sweeter.

 

7.i am content. but at the same time there is much i want to learn, see, and do this year. i want to take better care of myself. make more of an effort with the way i look. make more of an effort with my heart, with my spiritual growth. but with every passing year, i feel more of a peace in my heart. more of a stilness. more of a "this is me" and "this is where i'm supposed to be".

there's more i could say...always more. :) but i think i'll stop there.

if you blog your heart, please link me. feel free to use my icon and link back. :) i have read and commented on each and every post every month i do this. and i always will.

love to you all, and happy 2012~ xoxo

blog your heart {a challenge}

***giveaway still open below!! ***

 

so here's how this works. monthly i will post this challenge to you. it's a pretty simple challenge. blog your heart. HONESTLY. it can be silly, funny, serious, short or long...whatever you want it to be. as long as it is authentic.

no judging on what is shared. :) also you don't have to blog, you can share in the comments.

 

last month i read every single entry (and commented) that was posted here. i will do the same every month. but you have to post a working link for me to do so. :)

 

please feel free to use the graphic above...but please link back to this post!

here's my heart this month.

 

1. i have completely fallen off of the exercise bandwagon. completely. i have only worked out 3x since jimmy came home. i am FURIOUS with myself. i feel bad about myself, i'm not fitting in clothes i was fitting in, i feel sloppy. i keep telling myself "next week i'll start again" and i never do. i've had enough. it is absolutely RIDICULOUS that i have reversed all of the hard work i did this summer.

 

2. i have horrible nails. i bite them and there is never polish on them. the last manicure i got was the day before my wedding.

 

3. i have this weird thing where i really don't want to like what EVERYONE is nuts over at the moment. if there is a tv show, movie or book (twilight!!!) or gadget (cameo!) that everyone is tweeting/blogging/talking about, for some reason it makes me not want to get sucked into the hoopla. i know. ridiculous. but i've always been like that. lots of times i give in (iPad), lots of times i don't (twilight,harry potter).

 

4.this is going to sound nuts to you guys, but i'm a better mother when J is gone. i am more patient. you see, when i KNOW someone is coming home at the end of the night i am less patient. i know i have reinforcements soon. :) when he is gone, i know there is no help coming, no rest for the weary...and i am much better with the girls. i know, crazy huh?

 

5. i worry way too much (in my head) i am always thinking of things that could happen to the girls and it terrifies me. it's enough to make me want to keep them wrapped in the safe bubble wrap confines of our home forever. but of course this is ridiculous. luckily, this is in my head and not projected or verbalized.

 

6. i need to work on my faith. i pray steadfastly, but i need to fit in quiet time. i need to join a small group. i need to grow.

 

7. i want my girls to love reading like i do. i want them to LONG for a good book...to escape into a story the way i do. harper is not reading (completely) yet. i'm fine with that. she can read plenty of words. i vowed i would never be that teacher turned mom who pushed my children. i just REALLY want her to learn to read so that she can fall in love with it. we just started charlotte's web and she loves it.

 

8. a lot of times i read other blogs and feel inadequate. don't get me wrong...i LOVE my life and feel very blessed. but i do not have a home straight out of a magazine, i don't travel, i'm not always impeccably dressed. i don't have it all together. the thing is, i realize they probably don't either. and that makes me feel better. i will never be that girl. i'm not sure i would want to be that girl. but sometimes i think i want to!

 

okay, that's it for today. that's what's on my heart.

what about you? spread the word, and link in the comments.

xxo

s